Saturday, May 30, 2015

Venus in the 8th House

Those with Venus in the 8th House base their values around passion and emotional depth. The 8th House is a very intense house that electrifies whatever planet is there. So, this isn’t a Venus that’s exactly an angel but there is still a tremendous charm and appeal there. You’ll probably find yourself liking them immensely without exactly knowing why. 8th House Venus people, in the end, value these kinds of responses from people. They want you to feel very fully and wholly about them. For this reason, they don’t easily flinch when people don’t like them. Hatred or jealousy is still a response, isn’t it? But, Venus in the 8th must be careful to not dwell or thrive on these kinds of negative exchanges or a ton of drama can manifest in their lives.

In the end, these individuals can attract just as much admiration, love, and lust as they do the darker responses from people, if not more. Venus in the 8th has a high appreciation of the dark elements of people but this can turn into a complete obsession that makes them feed on drama and turbulence. At this level, they can be magnets for people’s rage and hate. However, if they release an addiction to this rapport with others, their lives can be filled with overwhelming love. There is something mysterious about their charm. You don’t know where it comes from exactly. You can’t put your finger on it but it’s very powerful. Being attractive is an innate source of power for 8th House Venus folks. So, even when they’re smiling sweetly at you, they’re grabbing you by the throat, at the same time, subtly controlling situations through their magical charm.

Everything that’s appealing about their Venus sign is heightened and expressed in extremes. If Venus in Cancer is in the 8th, they will appeal to others through their incredibly nurturing, intuitive attitude, always there to support and comfort you. This comes from a certain obsession over the things that their Venus sign enjoys. Whatever it loves, they really, really love it. So, when an 8th House Venus person is in a good place, this enjoyment can seep out of their very pores and fill up the room, which is a big part of why they’re so magnetic. There is an opportunity with this placement to create a very solid, internal value system, giving the person a generally unshakable self-esteem. But, since the 8th House can be so extreme, they might have to work through a huge lack of self-acceptance in order to get to this place. However, when they do, few people can value themselves more. Not vainly, necessarily. Just with strong, amazing integrity.

Valuing one’s sexual attractiveness (or, more accurately, learning to value one’s sexual attractiveness) is also very important with this position. And it’s not really based on their looks but the sexiness that’s coming from the inside. This is a theme that enters their life very early on. I believe Venus defines the ways in which we hit puberty and go through it, as this is when we first really start dealing with issues of attractiveness and if other people are attracted to us. And with Venus in the 8th House, puberty hits in a big way. It might have been brewing way before. They have a high awareness of bodily pleasure from an early age, even though, of course, it’s very different for children. It’s totally natural to play with ourselves and discover what feels good to our bodies then. 8th House Venus people were tapped into this in a very strong way even in the prepubescent years but how they handled it depends on if they were shamed for it or not.

But, things only got more overwhelming when they actually hit puberty. Once their sexual feelings began developing, it’s like it sent out some primal, mating-call signal to all the other kids at school. Let’s just say their classmates had some, uh, very strong responses to them. 8th House Venus teenagers usually attract the most intense kinds of crushes and admirers growing up, to a degree that might start freaking them out. It can get sort of inappropriate, extending to even teachers or authority figures making eyes at them a lot. This develops a love-hate connection to their appeal that can continue into adulthood. On one hand, Venus in the 8th House people know that they’re very sexually attractive but, on the other hand, this can scare them or creep them out just because of how strongly people react to them, in a way that’s often unwanted or unintentional.  

They don’t understand why but they can bring out the most hidden, forbidden sexual feelings and fantasies within other people. Often times, it’s when they’re not even trying to be sexy! Venus in the 8th House people just can’t help it. When they get into a certain groove, they are highly seductive. And their whole aura seems to promise a lot of things that can happen behind closed doors. But, again, this is an unconscious thing. They’re often not trying to get into your pants, which is why they can be confused when people think they’re promiscuous or think that they’re coming on to them. So, hiding this very raw sexual energy can just seem easier. It’s not because it only serves to make that sexuality even more powerful, eventually bursting out in a big way. So, 8th House Venus people must come to terms with their high sexual energy, learning how to only focus on the people they want to attract with it and how take the attention of others graciously but not personally.

There can be some dramatic, star-crossed element to their love affairs, at a less mature level. It’s a toxic trap that those with this placement can fall into: getting too attached to partners that are either no good for them or that they can’t have (often times both). Love can be intermingled with pain too much, just because of the intensity this dynamic brings (which they love so much). So, relationships might become dysfunctional, upsetting, even abusive. Their feelings for someone else can also become unbalanced, if they’re not careful. As much as Venus in the 8th House might be obsessed over and stalked, they can become obsessive stalkers, as well. This just happens when they’re wasting their time on someone unavailable. Again, focus on the people who are going to be good for you and who value you right back. At the more evolved stage, this all gets much easier.

8th House Venus folks are highly committed to their relationships, whether it’s romance or friendship. They value this sort of all-in dedication, having no time for the flaky, the insincere and the inconsistent. However their Venus sign does relationships will be acted out with fierce commitment. So, an 8th House Leo Venus would be very, very dedicated to having a good time with their partner and living an exciting life with them, to an all-or-nothing degree. This might scare some people off but they often think, “Good.” Venus in the 8th House people have a very acute radar for who they should be letting into their intimate sphere. They’re highly intuitive and will assess all of your nuances and motives first. And you won’t really know you’re being tested and that you’ve passed or failed until you’re either inside or outside of the sanctum.

Again, there is a subtle dynamic of control at play here. But, it should not go too far because Venus in the 8th can indulge in the control games to a destructive level. They need to just allow things to unfold in the relationship and not spend so much time testing and prodding. Once they pass the first test, relax! Relationships can come with an in-built fear of being abandoned, betrayed, or deceived, in some way, with this placement. And when that does actually happen, well, things don’t progress in a pretty fashion. Many Venus in the 8th House folks can flat-out seek revenge on a cheating, lying, and/or jilting partner but never let you know that they’re doing it until you’re in the middle of their trap. Not all of these people will go that far, though. But, their treatment of exes can be quite “love or hate”. If it ended well, you might remain in their heart forever. If it ended badly, they may never speak to you again, as if you don’t even exist anymore. However, just know that this is often just a reaction to being hurt and that you’re still somewhere in their heart.

The 8th House represents transformation and Venus here really enjoys transformation. Relationships often unfold in this way, in which one or both people are forever changed by each other. Hopefully, in a positive, empowering way! Venus in the 8th House people have such a skill for knowing all your psychological nooks and crannies and this is something they should use to heal you, strengthen you, and make you more emotionally aware. Friends of those with this position can feel amazingly renewed after a talk with them, as they can shed light on everything you’ve been in the dark about. As a result, Venus in the 8th House people usually find themselves in romances and friendships with those who are passionate, perceptive, intense, and like to discover the gritty truth. They value these things and the relationships they truly enjoy are with those whose waters run deep.

Venus in the 8th House has the most appreciation for art and creativity that is really emotionally moving and evocative. That fluffy, silly pop stuff playing on the radio might make their heads hurt. Give them something soulful and rich, often even quite dark. If they are artists themselves, they dwell in the dark stuff very easily. They are much less interested in doing really light creative material on a regular. Even if they do lighter work, it’s colored with a bittersweet or painful edge. Their creative sensibilities are geared toward things that are brutally honest and will have a powerful emotional impact. They also love to transform through art, as well as through clothes. Venus represents our sense of style and with Venus in the 8th, dressing up is a real transformation. Each new piece of clothing can make them feel very different, affecting them from the inside-out in a deeper way than most. So, radical changes in style and look come very easily and often, which can make them seem like a completely different person with just a different shirt on or a new haircut.

But, above all, they must feel very sexy in what they’re wearing. For this reason, Venus in the 8th House people feel a lot better in clothes that are either more revealing or more form-fitting. This is one Venus that generally doesn’t mind wearing things that are pretty provocative, making you think of other things instead. Again, the purpose of this placement is to enjoy one’s sexual power, through many different means. Sex itself is obviously one of those but this placement goes beyond actual sex. In or out of the bedroom, clothed or unclothed, they fully appreciate all of the sexual tensions and dynamics and expressions of human behavior. But, 8th House Venus is most turned-on by intense passion and deep connection. So, it cannot be served up lukewarm!

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Transiting Pluto conjunct Natal Ascendant: A Brand New Me

Thank your lucky stars (or, should I say, birth chart) if you happen to experience transiting Pluto conjunct your natal Ascendant. Yes, I said that right. This is an incredible opportunity! Remember that this is a transit that a lot of people go an entire lifetime without experiencing. So, it’s a rare event in a person’s life and you should take this transit as a sign of empowerment, instead of a time to crawl into a fetal position and curse your fate. Living to experience a transiting Pluto conjunct Ascendant transit means that you have been chosen by the Universe to radically transform. 
And isn’t that a beautiful thing? How many people live their entire lives sticking to the same old script, never moving beyond what’s familiar yet ultimately disempowering? How many people simply live into old age complaining about how much their upbringing stunk and what a bad hand they were dealt? Well, if you get to experience transiting Pluto crossing your Ascendant, you have a chance to flip the script entirely. It’s a chance to become a whole new you who no longer lives by the rules and the expectations that once defined you.

To achieve this, though, Pluto has got to break you down. And he does it by entering your 12th House and staying there for a long time; years and years. The 12th House is where we have shoved those things that we were told, explicitly or implicitly, by our parental figures and other authorities were unacceptable. These are the things that we have repressed or denied or remained totally oblivious to over the years. And when Pluto is moving through your 12th House, all of that stuff gets dug up in a really powerful way. To be honest, it’s like your worst nightmare coming to life.

Whatever planets are in your natal 12th House, Pluto will bring some extreme situations into your life to wake you up to them. Got Uranus in your 12th? You’re going to be thrust into situations where you feel horribly misunderstood and alienated. Is the Moon in your 12th? You won’t be able to stop all the feelings from flowing out, to a point where all of your vulnerabilities will be exposed. Your 12th House planets will have nowhere to hide when transiting Pluto crosses them. And this might be a very scary, very painful time for you, when you deal with your deepest problems, anxieties, fears, and complexes, which you’ve been running so far away from throughout life. Well, it will be very scary and painful if you resist the process of facing the truth. Pluto transiting the 12th is often a real bottoming out, as if you’re an alcoholic who finally has to admit, after getting fired and evicted and divorced all because of your drinking, that you have a serious problem.

Now, in spite of it being so scary, the weight that’s lifted off of you is tremendous and eventually so peaceful! The things you’ve shoved into your 12th House are no longer things that you’re terrified of or uneasy with, once transiting Pluto crosses them. You no longer care that your parents or even society doesn’t approve of them. You are now learning to treat these qualities with an attitude of acceptance, forgiveness, and unconditional love. There will be a time when transiting Pluto is in the 12th and conjunct your Ascendant. This attitude will prevail during this time, especially if you have 12th House planets in the same sign as the Ascendant.

This prepares you for the point when transiting Pluto conjuncts your Ascendant to the exact degree. It’s a time of enormous changes in your life, releasing all of the baggage and all of the crap that has ceased to work for you. If that includes people, then so be it. Extreme letting go is the key theme of this transit, especially when Pluto’s still on the 12th House side. You must surrender everything that has prevented you from developing a fully authentic place in the world. Again, it might feel painful. But, Pluto doesn’t want any bullshit from you. It wants you to go very deep, figuring out how all of the most important resources are internal. So, when Pluto finally moves into your 1st House, you’ve got nothing else to lose. You are more of a force than you ever were before because now you don’t rely on the superficial trappings that everyone else gets so caught up in.

Transiting Pluto conjunct the Ascendant radically changes the expression of your Rising sign. Some sort of transformation has to occur here and it will be highly noticeable. People who knew you from several years ago, maybe even three or two years or only a year ago, might just give you a puzzled or stunned “what?” when it comes to your change in demeanor. The Ascendant is how we behave and it’s inevitable that a person will start behaving much differently once transiting Pluto hits their Ascendant, especially at the exact degree. Depending on the sign, and the person, it can be anything from really lightening up to getting really serious to being a lot more compassionate to displaying much more personal power. Our Ascendant can be too much of a performance, at times; a way to get approval that we learned as children. But, Pluto is telling you to screw all of that. You don’t need to perform anymore! Just be uncompromisingly authentic. Nothing better than that.

If you know a Capricorn Rising person, give them a good hug. They need it right now, or have needed it at one point in the past several years. Since Pluto is in Capricorn, every person alive with Capricorn Rising will be experiencing this transit, at some point, until it leaves Capricorn in about 2024. It’s been a deeply exhausting time for us Capricorn Rising folks but we’ve needed all of these struggles in order to achieve all the more psychological growth and renewed strength.

For those with the Ascendant in Capricorn, Pluto has been making them confront and transform ideas of success, failure, responsibility, structure, etc. Pluto in Capricorn is undeniably symbolized by the Recession which is still reverberating throughout society. How many people with Master’s Degrees are still having a rough time? Pluto has been exposing to the world, since about 2009, how false our ideas of success and status and recognition are. That has been hitting Capricorn Rising people hard; the majority of whom, I bet, have suffered some devastating setbacks and have painfully fallen short of their goals. But, that’s the problem with this Rising sign. There’s too much of a plan, too much emphasis on worldly gain. Pluto is teaching Capricorn Rising people to base their place in the world on something much deeper than what they have in their pockets or how far they’ve climbed up the ladder. The lesson for us now is that failure is only a matter of perception.

Capricorn is famous for loosening up as they age. This is probably the transformation that most Capricorn Rising folks are feeling, thanks to Pluto crossing their Ascendant. They are learning to destroy the idea that they always have to measure up, that they can never slip up and show the chinks in their armor. With Sagittarius as the 12th House Cusp, Capricorn Ascendant people have had to hide their looser, more casual side while growing up in order to conform to the expectation of their environment that they must be responsible; usually responsible for the parents in some psychological way. Now, that harsh, judgmental voice is being killed off. As excruciating as it might have been to stumble so hard during these years, Capricorn Rising is seeing that they have the maturity and resilience to recover, as well as to simply laugh at themselves in the process. They are finding an amazing freedom (Sagittarius) from all of these mental restrictions (Capricorn).

The Rising sign can never just go away, of course. It’ll always be there. Capricorn Ascendant will always be purposeful and mature and have a very accomplished, respectable air. But, the rigidity and the graveness that they can be known for is (hopefully) being killed off by transiting Pluto, in order for them to be truly liberated and empowered. Instead of being all business, they are adopting a more business-casual style of making their way through the world. After all, that over-seriousness is usually just a result of insecurity. With Pluto on their side, Capricorn Rising is learning that they have nothing to be scared of anymore and that they’re secure in their inner power.

That can also rid them of the pessimism that might haunt their days. Capricorn Rising can expect the worst way too often. Transiting Pluto is showing them the boomerang effect of their negative thoughts, urging them to trust that they are strong enough and capable enough to survive anything that comes their way. So, if you have this Ascendant, you may be finding yourself feeling more positive than ever. Again, hopefully, you are. Transits can go either way. People can really take advantage of them and learn from them or they can simply wallow and complain their way through the negative ones without being proactive at all. I hope you’re doing the former, not the latter. Take advantage of this knowledge available to you via astrology. It gives you an upper hand.

Only if you’re in the teenage to forty-something age range and you have Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, or Taurus Rising (depending on your age) will you be next in line to experience transiting Pluto conjunct the Ascendant. I do think we choose the charts we have during this lifetime to really learn something and change our ways. So, you incarnated in this lifetime and chose that Ascendant so you can experience this phenomenal transformation. Don’t be terrified of it. Embrace it. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Venus-Neptune Aspects: The Fantasy

With your Venus sign conjunct, square, opposite, sextile, or trine Neptune in your chart, you are the fantasy. Well, in truth, you’re a real, living, breathing person. But, you have a trait of being a walking, talking ideal in ways that can be really beautiful and really deceptive, often at the same time. Venus is the planet that defines how we attract others, as well as what we find attractive. Neptune, however, is all about dreams, fantasies, intuitive impressions, and reaching beyond earthly limitations. So, the results are interesting with Venus-Neptune people. These two planets are said to be pretty excellent together, which can be true, of course. But, it also means that you might not be anywhere near the person that someone else has fallen for (and vice versa).

I think that our Venus aspects start emerging strongly in the adolescent stage of life. How a person goes through puberty is usually indicated by their Venus, as this is the time when we begin fully learning just what makes us attractive and what’s attractive to us. It’s when our heart starts thumping and our first crushes start forming. With Venus in aspect to Neptune, your journey through puberty was a dream-filled one. When you harbored a crush, it wasn’t just puppy love but the stuff that poems were made of! Venus-Neptune develops a highly romanticized outlook at this age, seeing falling in love as something that’s truly a spectacular, phenomenal thing.

Yet, it might have been tough for you to learn the lesson that romance just sometimes isn’t that grand or exciting. Most teenagers can be pretty melodramatic about their dating life but you were especially living out some sort of Shakespearean tragedy in the 9th or 10th grade. You truly felt like either Romeo or Juliet, wanting the vivid highs and even the captivating lows. It’s safe to say that whenever a Venus-Neptune teenager suffers their first disappointment in love, it can be truly devastating. But, while this might make their Venus-Pluto peers develop an attitude of resentment and paranoia that needs to be overcome, it can just make them all the more idealistic. Even if you have Venus in Virgo, Scorpio, or Capricorn, those rose-colored glasses stay on in your relationships.

Amy from "Gone Girl", played by Rosamund Pike (Venus conjunct Neptune)
You have a tough time seeing your significant others and even friends as who they really are. You, instead, see them very much as you’d like to see them. Out of all the Neptune aspects, Venus-Neptune people are probably the biggest culprits of this. Yet, on the flip side, you definitely tend to allow people to see you however they want to see you. This is why you are the fantasy. You know how to attract and appeal to others (Venus) in ways that really live up to their expectations (Neptune). After all, you value your inner expectations so greatly, always wanting relationships to be the vivid affair that you dream up in your head. So, you value other people’s expectations just as much, seeing little boundaries between what will make them happy and what will make you happy.

The book and film Gone Girl introduced the phrase “cool girl” to popular culture: a woman who shape-shifts endlessly in order to live up to her partner’s expectations and fantasies of the perfect woman. Well, I’d venture to say that Venus-Neptune people can often be the cool girl or the “cool guy”, whatever that means to their significant other. Do they like baseball? Well, you love it, too. Are they not in the mood tonight? No, you’re not, either. Do they watch bad reality television? Oh, you do, too, except you never have until you started dating them. With the sextile and the trine, as well as the conjunction, in some cases, this attitude is just very adaptive, willing to go along with the flow in a relationship. But, the square and the opposition, as well as the conjunction, possibly, can truly forget themselves in the relationship, becoming whatever their partner dreams of.

These people can also struggle with what they feel is society’s concept of the ideal man or woman, much more so than most people. You might internalize these standards of attractiveness so deeply that you lose your own sense of what makes you appealing. Some Venus-Neptune men go this way and try to deny much of their Neptunian sensitivity, out of pressures to be what some think is a “real man”; whatever that means. But, you can never be a real man or woman if you’re busy trying to be what people expect of you. This actually makes you less attractive than you think.

The same goes for relationships. In romance, particularly, people who are more perceptive or who want to get down to the honest nitty-gritty more can be bothered by their Venus-Neptune partner’s inability to fully be themselves. Or maybe they just can’t establish a real bond with you because you’re not really available. Neptune can truly make itself invisible and there can be that eerie feeling emanating from you, sometimes, when people relate to you. It’s as if you disappear, making your essence opaque and impossible to read. You might value the illusion that you’ve created for the other person so much that you don’t know how to stop pretending and become frustratingly elusive when they demand that you come out of character and show them the real you.

In extreme cases, this can be incredibly manipulative and deceptive. Since Venus is how we draw others near us, both men and women with this placement can be like sirens, attracting people by seeming heavenly and out-of-this-world. Then, once the relationship starts, they’re swept up into utter chaos and confusion. Even good friends might feel duped by you, in this way. Neptune aspects can indicate how we lie, though often involuntarily or unknowingly. But, the thing is that you believe in this illusion as much as other people do, often more. So, it can be particularly devastating to you when you fall off that pedestal. Others are liable to suffer the same fate if you’ve been too busy living out a fantasy version of the relationship to take a realistic look at the person in front of you.

Yet, the great thing about Venus-Neptune placements is that they give you the opportunity to develop a truly transcendent value system. Instead of absorbing others’ values or society’s values so compulsively, you must rise above all of this and figure out your own sense of pleasure. It’s often an unearthly, unworldly kind of joy. Neptune is not of this earth and shoots itself in the foot when it tries to act like it. So, when you stop compulsively playing this wide variety of roles to please others, you’ll be able to figure out what really makes you happy. As a result, you’ll then learn what really makes the other person happy. You’ll have to risk disappointing people. But, you know what? If you have to pretend to be someone that you’re not, then that person isn’t worth having in your life.

Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (my favorite film)
Still, having a Venus-Neptune aspect makes you enormously forgiving and accepting. This is another big value of yours, as Neptune is about divine compassion. So, you will gain a lot of personal pleasure through expressing tenderness and empathy toward those around you. In the end, this is a big part of what will draw others to you. Instead of trying to be the cool girl or the cool guy, you can attract more love, affection, and appreciation by just giving of yourself generously and selflessly. Don’t become so selfless that you lose your sense of boundaries. Engaging in charitable activities, for example, could become something that you totally enjoy, allowing you to serve other people and make them feel more loved and accepted while also not giving too much of yourself away.

This sense of compassion can also come to define your personal standards in dating. Venus-Neptune individuals can be amazingly non-discriminating in their choice of significant others. The more you learn how to pierce through the illusions that create relationships, the more you’ll see into the true soul of someone else. In fact, you probably have quite a gift for that! Instead of the mere superficial aspects of a person, you can develop a psychic perception of who they really are, on the inside. A lot of people with these placements are more so attracted to the humanity of a person, rather than their body, their looks, their social status, or their achievements. There’s a really beautiful potential here to just love a person for who they are, deep down, and be very accepting of that.

However, this can also pull at your heartstrings, in ways that can be to your detriment. Few people have a harder time of rejecting others than Venus-Neptune people. You really don’t want to hurt their feelings! And it can go so far as to you not only totally avoiding the subject but even indulging them with a very permissive or even flirtatious attitude toward their advances. You’ve got to learn how to just say “no” or else you can seriously lead someone on. Those with these aspects can also decide to date people or sleep with someone out of sheer sympathy, like an act of charity. You don’t owe this person anything! Stay true to your actual feelings. Yet, the flip side to this is a total obliviousness to the fact that you love someone. You can very much delude yourself into thinking that you don't feel that way about them, possibly because you want them to remain out of reach, in some way, and not taint them or be disappointed by them. Love gets really complicated for Venus-Neptune, obviously. 

An enormous love of the arts is typical for those with Venus in aspect to Neptune. It’s almost overwhelming, as Venus represents our creative style and sensibilities while Neptune is the symbol of the transcendent artist. So, you’ll find a lot of artists with these aspects. This is the best outlet for that love of role-playing: translating it into a story, an acting role, or a piece of music. In fact, few things may give you as much pleasure as engaging in art, even more so than relationships. There’s an aura of perfection and otherworldliness around creativity that Venus-Neptune people just cannot resist and that is often more satisfying than anything else. You can also gain this sort of fulfillment just by consuming art, feeling an innate peace by being able to enter into this new Universe.

Our sense of style is defined by our Venus, as this planet characterizes our innate taste. With Venus touching Neptune, your taste is like that of a sponge. You absorb everyone else’s taste and spit it back out to reflect your environment. As a result, Venus-Neptune people are usually wonderful at following the latest trends, as well as making everything fit them like a glove. You can wear just about anything and look good. Fashion is another sort of role-playing for you. On the flip side, you might not have a single clue what you like! Neptune can just often be confused so maybe you have no idea what your particular style is. The other possibility is that you find fashion to be very superficial and aren’t interested at all in that. You want people to appreciate you for being human and not for what clothes you wear. Still, even the types with Venus-Neptune who go down this road can have a very stylish sort of bohemian, free-spirited chic about them, often unintentionally.

Your sexual feelings can often be just as confused and chaotic. It may be tough for you to grasp a clear idea of what turns you on and off. It’s difficult to articulate, mostly because it stems from this really magical place in your head. Again, just don’t fall into the trap of liking whatever the other person likes. Just about anything spicy that you can imagine can turn you on and you must remain open to all of these fantasies. You’re very similar to Mars-Neptune sexually. But, the subtle difference is that Mars-Neptune people have sex by acting out their fantasies. It basically needs to be like a pornographic movie, with those aspects. You simply have a very high appreciation of fantasizing about sex. Fantasizing about another person too heavily can be disorienting, then, when you actually sleep with them. Don’t be distracted by thinking, “This isn’t how I pictured it at all.”

Venus conjunct Neptune: You’re the biggest shape-shifter of the bunch, thanks to the conjunction. It’s probably tough for others to get a read on you because you’re so impossible to pin down. But, of course, that mystery is so attractive! Just make sure it doesn’t lead others down a dead-end road. Don’t present yourself as a promise that you can’t eventually keep, so to speak.

Venus square or opposite Neptune: The square or the opposition means that relationships can be highly confusing for you, more than the other aspects. You get too easily lost in living out these ideals that it feels like you’re not in the same relationship at all as the other person. Yet, this frustration can only propel you to seek a really beautiful, virtually poetic sense of happiness.

Venus sextile or trine Neptune: With the sextile or the trine, you find it easier to remain somewhat on solid ground. You’re very caring and adaptable in relationships without getting too swept up in the other person. Still, it can sometimes be tough for even you to not have such high expectations of love and beauty. Expressing these ideals creatively will be more satisfying.