With your Venus sign conjunct, square, opposite, sextile, or trine Neptune in your chart, you are the fantasy. Well, in truth, you’re a real, living, breathing person. But, you have a trait of being a walking, talking ideal in ways that can be really beautiful and really deceptive, often at the same time. Venus is the planet that defines how we attract others, as well as what we find attractive. Neptune, however, is all about dreams, fantasies, intuitive impressions, and reaching beyond earthly limitations. So, the results are interesting with Venus-Neptune people. These two planets are said to be pretty excellent together, which can be true, of course. But, it also means that you might not be anywhere near the person that someone else has fallen for (and vice versa).
I think that our Venus aspects start emerging strongly in the adolescent stage of life. How a person goes through puberty is usually indicated by their Venus, as this is the time when we begin fully learning just what makes us attractive and what’s attractive to us. It’s when our heart starts thumping and our first crushes start forming. With Venus in aspect to Neptune, your journey through puberty was a dream-filled one. When you harbored a crush, it wasn’t just puppy love but the stuff that poems were made of! Venus-Neptune develops a highly romanticized outlook at this age, seeing falling in love as something that’s truly a spectacular, phenomenal thing.
Yet, it might have been tough for you to learn the lesson that romance just sometimes isn’t that grand or exciting. Most teenagers can be pretty melodramatic about their dating life but you were especially living out some sort of Shakespearean tragedy in the 9th or 10th grade. You truly felt like either Romeo or Juliet, wanting the vivid highs and even the captivating lows. It’s safe to say that whenever a Venus-Neptune teenager suffers their first disappointment in love, it can be truly devastating. But, while this might make their Venus-Pluto peers develop an attitude of resentment and paranoia that needs to be overcome, it can just make them all the more idealistic. Even if you have Venus in Virgo, Scorpio, or Capricorn, those rose-colored glasses stay on in your relationships.
|Amy from "Gone Girl", played by Rosamund Pike (Venus conjunct Neptune)|
You have a tough time seeing your significant others and even friends as who they really are. You, instead, see them very much as you’d like to see them. Out of all the Neptune aspects, Venus-Neptune people are probably the biggest culprits of this. Yet, on the flip side, you definitely tend to allow people to see you however they want to see you. This is why you are the fantasy. You know how to attract and appeal to others (Venus) in ways that really live up to their expectations (Neptune). After all, you value your inner expectations so greatly, always wanting relationships to be the vivid affair that you dream up in your head. So, you value other people’s expectations just as much, seeing little boundaries between what will make them happy and what will make you happy.
The book and film Gone Girl introduced the phrase “cool girl” to popular culture: a woman who shape-shifts endlessly in order to live up to her partner’s expectations and fantasies of the perfect woman. Well, I’d venture to say that Venus-Neptune people can often be the cool girl or the “cool guy”, whatever that means to their significant other. Do they like baseball? Well, you love it, too. Are they not in the mood tonight? No, you’re not, either. Do they watch bad reality television? Oh, you do, too, except you never have until you started dating them. With the sextile and the trine, as well as the conjunction, in some cases, this attitude is just very adaptive, willing to go along with the flow in a relationship. But, the square and the opposition, as well as the conjunction, possibly, can truly forget themselves in the relationship, becoming whatever their partner dreams of.
These people can also struggle with what they feel is society’s concept of the ideal man or woman, much more so than most people. You might internalize these standards of attractiveness so deeply that you lose your own sense of what makes you appealing. Some Venus-Neptune men go this way and try to deny much of their Neptunian sensitivity, out of pressures to be what some think is a “real man”; whatever that means. But, you can never be a real man or woman if you’re busy trying to be what people expect of you. This actually makes you less attractive than you think.
The same goes for relationships. In romance, particularly, people who are more perceptive or who want to get down to the honest nitty-gritty more can be bothered by their Venus-Neptune partner’s inability to fully be themselves. Or maybe they just can’t establish a real bond with you because you’re not really available. Neptune can truly make itself invisible and there can be that eerie feeling emanating from you, sometimes, when people relate to you. It’s as if you disappear, making your essence opaque and impossible to read. You might value the illusion that you’ve created for the other person so much that you don’t know how to stop pretending and become frustratingly elusive when they demand that you come out of character and show them the real you.
In extreme cases, this can be incredibly manipulative and deceptive. Since Venus is how we draw others near us, both men and women with this placement can be like sirens, attracting people by seeming heavenly and out-of-this-world. Then, once the relationship starts, they’re swept up into utter chaos and confusion. Even good friends might feel duped by you, in this way. Neptune aspects can indicate how we lie, though often involuntarily or unknowingly. But, the thing is that you believe in this illusion as much as other people do, often more. So, it can be particularly devastating to you when you fall off that pedestal. Others are liable to suffer the same fate if you’ve been too busy living out a fantasy version of the relationship to take a realistic look at the person in front of you.
Yet, the great thing about Venus-Neptune placements is that they give you the opportunity to develop a truly transcendent value system. Instead of absorbing others’ values or society’s values so compulsively, you must rise above all of this and figure out your own sense of pleasure. It’s often an unearthly, unworldly kind of joy. Neptune is not of this earth and shoots itself in the foot when it tries to act like it. So, when you stop compulsively playing this wide variety of roles to please others, you’ll be able to figure out what really makes you happy. As a result, you’ll then learn what really makes the other person happy. You’ll have to risk disappointing people. But, you know what? If you have to pretend to be someone that you’re not, then that person isn’t worth having in your life.
|Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (my favorite film)|
Still, having a Venus-Neptune aspect makes you enormously forgiving and accepting. This is another big value of yours, as Neptune is about divine compassion. So, you will gain a lot of personal pleasure through expressing tenderness and empathy toward those around you. In the end, this is a big part of what will draw others to you. Instead of trying to be the cool girl or the cool guy, you can attract more love, affection, and appreciation by just giving of yourself generously and selflessly. Don’t become so selfless that you lose your sense of boundaries. Engaging in charitable activities, for example, could become something that you totally enjoy, allowing you to serve other people and make them feel more loved and accepted while also not giving too much of yourself away.
This sense of compassion can also come to define your personal standards in dating. Venus-Neptune individuals can be amazingly non-discriminating in their choice of significant others. The more you learn how to pierce through the illusions that create relationships, the more you’ll see into the true soul of someone else. In fact, you probably have quite a gift for that! Instead of the mere superficial aspects of a person, you can develop a psychic perception of who they really are, on the inside. A lot of people with these placements are more so attracted to the humanity of a person, rather than their body, their looks, their social status, or their achievements. There’s a really beautiful potential here to just love a person for who they are, deep down, and be very accepting of that.
However, this can also pull at your heartstrings, in ways that can be to your detriment. Few people have a harder time of rejecting others than Venus-Neptune people. You really don’t want to hurt their feelings! And it can go so far as to you not only totally avoiding the subject but even indulging them with a very permissive or even flirtatious attitude toward their advances. You’ve got to learn how to just say “no” or else you can seriously lead someone on. Those with these aspects can also decide to date people or sleep with someone out of sheer sympathy, like an act of charity. You don’t owe this person anything! Stay true to your actual feelings. Yet, the flip side to this is a total obliviousness to the fact that you love someone. You can very much delude yourself into thinking that you don't feel that way about them, possibly because you want them to remain out of reach, in some way, and not taint them or be disappointed by them. Love gets really complicated for Venus-Neptune, obviously.
An enormous love of the arts is typical for those with Venus in aspect to Neptune. It’s almost overwhelming, as Venus represents our creative style and sensibilities while Neptune is the symbol of the transcendent artist. So, you’ll find a lot of artists with these aspects. This is the best outlet for that love of role-playing: translating it into a story, an acting role, or a piece of music. In fact, few things may give you as much pleasure as engaging in art, even more so than relationships. There’s an aura of perfection and otherworldliness around creativity that Venus-Neptune people just cannot resist and that is often more satisfying than anything else. You can also gain this sort of fulfillment just by consuming art, feeling an innate peace by being able to enter into this new Universe.
Our sense of style is defined by our Venus, as this planet characterizes our innate taste. With Venus touching Neptune, your taste is like that of a sponge. You absorb everyone else’s taste and spit it back out to reflect your environment. As a result, Venus-Neptune people are usually wonderful at following the latest trends, as well as making everything fit them like a glove. You can wear just about anything and look good. Fashion is another sort of role-playing for you. On the flip side, you might not have a single clue what you like! Neptune can just often be confused so maybe you have no idea what your particular style is. The other possibility is that you find fashion to be very superficial and aren’t interested at all in that. You want people to appreciate you for being human and not for what clothes you wear. Still, even the types with Venus-Neptune who go down this road can have a very stylish sort of bohemian, free-spirited chic about them, often unintentionally.
Your sexual feelings can often be just as confused and chaotic. It may be tough for you to grasp a clear idea of what turns you on and off. It’s difficult to articulate, mostly because it stems from this really magical place in your head. Again, just don’t fall into the trap of liking whatever the other person likes. Just about anything spicy that you can imagine can turn you on and you must remain open to all of these fantasies. You’re very similar to Mars-Neptune sexually. But, the subtle difference is that Mars-Neptune people have sex by acting out their fantasies. It basically needs to be like a pornographic movie, with those aspects. You simply have a very high appreciation of fantasizing about sex. Fantasizing about another person too heavily can be disorienting, then, when you actually sleep with them. Don’t be distracted by thinking, “This isn’t how I pictured it at all.”
Venus conjunct Neptune: You’re the biggest shape-shifter of the bunch, thanks to the conjunction. It’s probably tough for others to get a read on you because you’re so impossible to pin down. But, of course, that mystery is so attractive! Just make sure it doesn’t lead others down a dead-end road. Don’t present yourself as a promise that you can’t eventually keep, so to speak.
Venus square or opposite Neptune: The square or the opposition means that relationships can be highly confusing for you, more than the other aspects. You get too easily lost in living out these ideals that it feels like you’re not in the same relationship at all as the other person. Yet, this frustration can only propel you to seek a really beautiful, virtually poetic sense of happiness.
Venus sextile or trine Neptune: With the sextile or the trine, you find it easier to remain somewhat on solid ground. You’re very caring and adaptable in relationships without getting too swept up in the other person. Still, it can sometimes be tough for even you to not have such high expectations of love and beauty. Expressing these ideals creatively will be more satisfying.