Sunday, September 13, 2015

Reflecting on Saturn in Scorpio



Saturn is about to move out of Scorpio for good within the next week! It'll happen officially on September 17. And let’s all just breathe a sigh of relief! I think few Saturn transits have been collectively harder on us than Saturn in Scorpio, especially for you lovely folks who’ve been enduring your Saturn Return.

I have a special soft spot for people with Saturn in Scorpio. I have the Moon in Scorpio and it’s my theory that a person with the Moon in a sign just really gets someone with Saturn in that sign and vice versa. Why? Both planets are about fear and insecurity, as well as learning how to find that security, in different ways. The Moon’s fear is more of an emotional thing; it’s reactionary, irrational and based on past experiences. Saturn’s fear is sort of like an existential dread; is there ever going to be enough and will things work out and will I be good enough?

For those who’ve been having your Saturn Return in Scorpio, the past two and a half years have been teaching you about your fears and doubts around control. All sorts of crazy, overwhelming stuff has been happening in your life to make you somehow feel powerless. What kind of stuff that is depends on the house your Scorpio Saturn is in. If it’s in the 7th, there was a lot of relationship stuff outside of your control. In the 3rd, communications and little stuff in your neighborhood or with your siblings made you feel powerless. And all those fears you’ve been dealing with for almost 30 (or almost 60, if you’re of the older Scorpio Saturn generation) years before all came to life. 

How many of us felt during this transit
But, why did they? In order to make you stronger and realize how much powerlessness is actually an illusion. Real power can’t be taken away. So, if you’ve just experienced your Saturn Return in Scorpio, you dealt with various things that had to do with your external, false power being robbed or diminished or whatever else. And you, hopefully, came to the realization that you have a deeper, much more valuable form of power within. That kind of power – the internal variety – can never be robbed from you. So, in spite of all that you’ve lost and endured, this time has been a challenge to dig deep and discover the amazing gold that’s been inside of your soul all along.

Now, I’ve been impacted hugely by this transit, as well. Even though it wasn’t my Saturn Return, Saturn made a transiting conjunction to my Moon and Pluto and Midheaven in Scorpio, while moving from my 9th to my 10th (the very top of my chart) near the end of the transit. And did I get some sort of awesome promotion and all that cliché stuff that’s supposed to happen when Saturn moves through your 10th? No, but I did get fired for the first time in my whole life. And I can truly say it was through no fault of my own. It was because my boss and I didn’t see eye-to-eye on my work; something out of my control.

From about mid-2013 to late 2014, Saturn in Scorpio really pulled the rug out from under me. I’d always prided myself on being this unstoppable force of nature who could achieve virtually any goal he set out to achieve. And that actually seemed to work for me, in the past, the majority of the time. I could push and push and push until I got what I wanted. And then, feel like a winner.

Well, what did Saturn in Scorpio do? It humbled the hell out of me by showing me, “Hey, you can’t go through life always expecting to get what you want just because you’re relentless about it.” The world often has other plans. So, that harsh Saturn reality came knocking, when I was fired and jobless, when a creative project of mine publicly collapsed and fell through, in spite of me putting a ton of hard work and promotion into it, and when I filled out countless applications for a new day job and landed a big, fat zero. I was so shocked, and felt so lacking in control, that it knocked the wind right out of me. It felt like cruel fate and it was depressing and confusing that the approach that once made me feel so powerful wasn’t working anymore.

But, that was the purpose of Saturn in Scorpio: to show us all what wasn’t working anymore. Anyone else with any personal Scorpio planets might have felt a similar sense of constantly being undercut. In hindsight, I can now clearly see why all of that had to happen. With that combination in Scorpio, the compulsive need for me, in the past, was for power and not in the righteous way that would empower other people. Just power for myself; to feel big and bad because I conquered something. And as much as my so-called “failures” stung back then, I realize that they were exactly what I needed. Saturn was disciplining me to turn the focus away from what I was getting and achieving and focus on what I could give to the world

So, it’s fitting that I only started to make money again when I began doing readings in late last year. It was in the last degrees of Saturn in Scorpio. I actually only started it because I had so much free time on my hands and I just thought I could use something to do. And I really wanted to help other people figure themselves out (same reason why I became so active on this blog), as I had been forced to embark on a deeper, more challenging journey of introspection during Saturn in Scorpio than ever. And trust me, as someone who has lived with a Scorpio Moon for every day of his life, that’s saying something! It’s near the end of a transit that we can make sense of it and come to peace with it. And it’s like Saturn in Scorpio saw what I was doing and felt that I was finally getting the message, allowing my little business to grow and allowing this blog to get a lot more support.

It was also Jupiter moving through Leo and pulling me out of that huge funk as it crossed my Sun. But, I actually never took the opportunity to go overboard with my ego, as some might predict a person with a Leo Sun would when Jupiter transits Leo. I learned such a lesson in humility during Saturn in Scorpio that I don’t think I could ever have that kind of attitude again. I really did grow up a lot! Life’s not all about getting what I want now. And, at the same time, just like people who went through their Saturn Return in Scorpio, I learned the source of my true power. It’s on the inside and how far I get in the world doesn’t give me my power. It can’t be given to or taken from me.

And, as a result, I generally don’t believe in failure anymore. I didn’t spend that year or so failing because I never gave up. Even when I didn’t want to get out of bed and even when I felt totally emotionally exhausted, I didn’t give up. I always strove to find some sort of focus; something to ground me and stay productive and I did. And as Saturn has retrograded back into Scorpio, it’s felt like a very different transit. It hasn’t exactly been smooth sailing. I’ve been feeling some pressure and I’m always busy and frequently falling short of getting everything done. But, overall, it’s been great. I think now is the time I’m being rewarded because I didn’t throw in the towel or remain a bitter victim through the first round of Saturn in Scorpio. Things seem way more promising now.

So, Saturn moving through my 10th has made me truly believe that the only failure is giving up and letting your present situation determine your whole future. Success is a very internal thing for me now; a feeling that isn’t dependent on anything or anyone else but me. Thanks, Saturn in Scorpio, for the lessons you brought me, even if I hated you for it, sometimes. You made me stronger than I ever thought I was before. Until we meet again in 2040.  

9 comments:

  1. Very inspiring article in many ways. I don't have this placement either but Saturn has been kicking my ass for ages and I've only started to really appreciate that planet in the last several years. I learned about this transit only recently, which is fine because it would have freaked me out ;). I have no personal planets in Scorpio, just Uranus, but my mother does have Saturn there and so this hits home for me. She seems to have always had this belief that if you do things the right way and are more stubborn than everyone else - "relentless" is the word - then things will turn out right for you, and also life will smite those doing it wrong. If anyone doesn't like how you do things, they must be delusional, heartlessly irresponsible, or have some purely spiteful agenda. I suppose the way my own life has turned out must feel like a giant slap in the face to her. Sometimes you put your years in, and you still get a mess in return.

    I realise she must have gone through her second Saturn return in the last few years. It's not clear to me just how it affected her as I don't know her houses and she keeps pretty buttoned-up and always, always busy. I did have a couple of blow-ups with her in the past year. I said things that I'd wanted to say for decades, and I could see some of it stunned her.

    For me, Saturn in Scorpio has been about 8th house stuff, and a lot of scales have fallen from my eyes in this time, especially re. people who I've depended on and who I would describe as deeply controlling, 'well-intentioned' bullies (my mother, and a few others). For a long time I really believed I was afraid of such people. But the truth is that part of me sees how deeply terrified THEY are of life and it freaks ME out and so I let them control me rather than risk seeing the mountain collapse. I myself had a deep fear of collapse for many years. It's easier for me to to believe that I go along with them out of loyalty or kindness than that I do so out of pity and scorn and my own desire to control. Pretty ugly stuff. But I think Saturn in Scorpio has helped me start to leave behind this dance of mutual feigned ignorance with others. So thanks, Saturn, for putting an end to that, or at least putting some serious cracks in it. Not that we're pals or anything ... not yet. ;)

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    1. Hi Vicky,
      You are such a good writer. Your story had touched me, especially on a topic with your mother and 'few others'
      ".. I would describe as deeply controlling, 'well-intentioned' bullies (my mother, and a few others)." And " It's easier for me to to believe that I go along with them out of loyalty or kindnes"

      If it's too personal i will understand, if you do not reply on my question: Did you solve "serious cracks"?
      I liked how you described it "well-intentioned bullies".My mother is exactly the same: push push push business...
      "But the truth is that part of me sees how deeply terrified THEY are of life and it freaks ME out and so I let them control me rather than risk seeing the mountain collapse." - With this words of yours i was amazed. You have written in letters exactly how i feel. I did not have that clear understanding yet.

      I had the big conflict recently with both of my parents ( it was the last gift of Saturn transiting my 7th house before it left for Sag). I could not let them control me any more. Enough it's enough. I was doing my best to prevent the conflict by having normal conversation. No, it was not to their satisfactory.
      So i have reflected their behavior back to them,- for the first time in my life. And they were offended, of course.
      Now, it' s to the a point, we might have this break in our family relationships for good.

      How is it for you, Vicky? Do you have any plans or strategy? Or you say to yourself, wait and see?

      B.t.w. I also was amazed about your health issue story and depression. I have been through the same, exactly the same,could not describe better than you do, would repeat after you...

      Thank you for being so open, strong, frank and sincere. I have not told anyone ever how i felt. Only my partner knows. It's feels o'k now to admit after you.

      Will be glad to hear from you. Bye!

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  2. Everything. you. said. here. I can't even put into words how what you've said resonates to the core. This made me more than a little emotional because that Saturn in Scorpio transit touched my Sun, Mercury & Pluto - meanwhile, tr. Pluto was at my Saturn. Thanks for sharing your personal experience with us - there's something about doing that which really fortifies those of us with a similar experience. I think we all come out a little stronger together when we share these things. And yes, with the retrograde, it's been different. Not necessarily all smooth sailing, but I feel things beginning to clear, and I feel a whole lot more grounded and consolidated in the truth of who I am. Thanks, Saturn.

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    1. Aw, thank you, Tara. I agree. People understand transits or placements more when others share their experiences. I don't want to be all about me and make this blog my journal or anything, haha. But, it's good to get personal on a consistent basis, too.

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  3. I understand what you are saying but I still don't get my Saturn return in 7th.
    You started off with the mentality that if you push hard enough you will get what you want and Saturn came along and proved you wrong. I never had this mentality (although we share Sun square Pluto and beside the Scorpio moon it is an aspect that thinks it's a big shot).

    You were humbled by Saturn. Because I was rejected all my life I entered my Saturn return already very humbled.

    I feel like Saturn kicked me while I was already down - what is the point of that? No point.

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    1. There's always a point to Saturn Returns. And Saturn's lessons are different for different people. It depends on the area where you need to change.

      With your Saturn in the 7th, you don't approach relationships with enough of a sense of your own control and choice. You might leave too much of that to other people. Therefore, instead of always trying to feel powerful, you may always feel powerless in these relationships. And you try to find your power and your ability to be responsible through other people. It can be hard for Saturn in the 7th House people to be independent and alone and still feel in charge of their lives. So, situations like this kept happening to, again, show you that this power was within, to show you that you can still be powerful, whether people reject you or not.

      So, I'd recommend that you take a harder look at everything that happened during your Saturn Return. When people don't learn and grow during this time, they can remain in arrested development for a long time. And I don't want that for you. :)

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    2. My Saturn isn't in the same house, but here's my take on Saturn return - I had mine 7 years ago and it was miserable. I had health issues and spent a lot of time just flat on my back, unable to get going. Basically I was forced to 'do nothing' and reflect a lot. I was more afraid during that time than I'd ever been in my life, and the feeling was so intolerable that I had to get serious about WHY I felt like that. The truth is that I had been feeling depressed and unsafe for a long time. When I got honest, I had to admit that a lot of the things I relied on didn't feel very secure or safe to me at all. Also there were areas in my life where nobody except ME knew what I needed, despite good intentions. Sometimes I felt like I was drowning and my family members were just standing helpless on the shore, unable to help. So I had to learn to help myself, or teach people how to help me.

      My feeling is that Saturn return forces you to *slow down* and be more honest about how you go through life. It's not punishment, it's showing you where the cracks and weaknesses are in your life, so you can change your approach, build a stronger foundation. During my return, I learned to focus on what I could do for myself, and what I could do NOW, within my current limits. Sometimes, I could do very little, but there's an odd feeling of peace and even satisfaction in just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. Also, I think once once you learn even a bit more self-reliance in the house where your Saturn is, you'll never be as afraid of that part of life again. It's like you spent your life feeling somehow crippled, and then you realised you had a pair of spare legs all along :)

      That's my two cents. I hope you come out of your Saturn return okay, and better for it!

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  4. Thank you for the great article again, Wayman.

    I loved Saturn all my life. Great Cronos will not allow to carry too much or less, never punishes you, but helps to live up to your absolute potential.

    I was preparing for Saturn in Scorpio since He was in Libra. Also things were starting te unfold already very early, before Saturn even went in Scorpio.
    it was transiting my 7th house,- this house is standing on the ashes now. I have builed a new one on the ashes of the old one.
    I have had a conflict with anyone i know! No, i have never had a need to go in anger management. Saturn was opposing my Sun, Moon and Ascendant. I had to stop being a diplomat, peacemaker. Saturn in Scorpio took away the privilege of giving to people the benefit of the doubt. I had to stand my grounds. I had to act, i had to be ruthless( do not misunderstand being ruthless or being cruel).
    I did understood one very precious lesson from transit of Saturn in Scorpio is: Kindness without Power is just nicety. Power without Humility is just entitlement.

    During this transit i have completely redecorated my residence i am living in and my spritual 7th house is all clean, serene and beautiful.
    It was the most toughest and rewarding transit of my entire life! I did not know i had IT in me - The Greatness! I have found it in me and i see it everywhere, in every being, tree, plant, cat and dog...
    In the end of Saturn in Scorpio i was preparing for Saturn in Sagittarius. It is conjucting my North Node in 7th house right now. So i will take the freedom to make the prediction: We -the citizens of our beloved planet Earth must and shall regain Faith(quality and driven power of Sagittarius) in each other. One for All and All for one - the Law of the Circel of Life - must be regained again.

    Bon voyage everyone in Saturn in Sagittarius!

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    1. P.S. To be correct Saturn is Cronus in Greek mythology

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