Monday, August 1, 2016

Why Aquarius Isn't All That Into Groups

A particular cliché that I take issue with is this whole thing about Aquarius and groups. Aquarius is often described as needing to dedicate itself to the group and while I can agree with this, on a certain level, I feel like it gets misinterpreted on a regular basis. When we hear “group”, in this day and age, we think of an exclusive club or circle of people. Our image of a social group is one that is downright cliquey and that can raise questions of inclusiveness versus snobbery that define the very purpose of Aquarius. This is not a sign that is about belonging to a particular group or even being all that accepted by them. But, it is about connecting and associating with groups of people.

Note that Aquarius does not have to be personally involved in that group. This is what contributes to the “outside looking in” perspective that defines this sign. It’s not about belonging to the group and it’s certainly not about conforming. It’s about seeing what bands people together, what creates social unity and understanding, and how you can go about fostering more of that. There is a true “all for one and one for all” spirit to Aquarius. But, this does not mean having a mentality that says that I need to be accepted by these people. If I hear people speak of Aquarius or the 11th House and use the phrase “fitting in” in any way, I feel that they don’t really understand this sign or house.

Let’s look at it in terms of its preceding and succeeding houses, the 10th and the 12th. These three houses are all dealing with the masses, in a certain way. If you are looking for particular “acceptance” by the masses, I would say that you would find it through whatever is in your 10th House. Here is where we work for our reputation, our feeling of success, our social status and public profile. If you are looking for a place to lose your “individuality”, you would experience that through your 12th House. This is the house of the collective unconscious, where we feel things on a profound level that go far beyond our ego-centered view of ourselves. It’s where we harbor emotions, fears, secrets, and dreams that serve as a reflection of everyone, in a sense.

This is why Aquarius and the 11th House precede Pisces and the 12th House. Aquarius is not about losing your individuality. That’s far from the truth. It’s in those Neptunian depths that we cease to have a firm sense of being an individual. But, being an individual is most certainly a part of Aquarius energy, whether they are connecting to some sort of group or not. However, it’s a rather loose, liberated form of individuality. This freedom of mind and spirit keeps Aquarius distanced from the ego. Therefore, they do not have to be the source of all the ideas and all the plans of action. It’s why Aquarius, at its best, can go along with other people’s ideas and plans so well. Without the ego being involved, one does not have to take credit for or feel in control of everything. 

However, there is still definitely a strong sense of individuality that defines Aquarius. It is a very easygoing sign but not so easygoing to totally give up the feeling of being an individual. While very open to your ideas and very tolerant and supportive of your actions, Aquarius is not a follower. Aquarius is not a group-thinker. It is a free thinker and that means not only using their heads but using the heads of other people in order to come up with something brilliant, exciting, progressive, and beneficial to everyone. And Aquarius is going to do so in its own independent-minded way, exhibiting a certain intelligence or originality that sets the person apart from other people.

Aquarius’ rulership over the 11th House sandwiches it right in between the yearning for prestige and respect that defines the 10th and Capricorn as well as the desire to escape oneself and merge with humanity that drives the Pisces-ruled 12th House. Therefore, the 11th House is where we’re going to meet our “peers”; essentially, our equals. I personally think that the 10th House is descriptive of one’s general community; everyone involved in your public sphere: co-workers, bosses, admirers, neighbors, etc. These are all the people that you know and/or that know you. 

The 11th House is where you get on equal footing with others. In a sense, this is where you already belong. It’s your general social scene; the place where you’re going to feel most communal and strive for a feeling of togetherness. This is the “group” that Aquarius aims for; where one can just feel free without trying so hard to be accepted or to belong because – somehow, someway – there is some common element that bonds you with these people already. But, also, bear in mind that Aquarius can connect to many different groups. It is not an exclusive sign and will not be limited, especially because it is able to find common elements with just about anyone it comes across. In this way, the drive for public acclaim and recognition of the 10th is relinquished in order to just form connections with those that you can feel a certain understanding with.

Yet, Aquarius is not about having a particular group of friends that you just stick to. Again, that creates a feeling of exclusivity. Aquarius wants everyone to feel included and can actively resist such “cliques” because of the barriers that they set up, directly or indirectly. This is not a sign that wants anyone to feel like they are better than anyone else. While Aquarius is very friendly with everyone yet only close to a select few, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t going to be freely and broadly social. That is the purpose of this sign and those with Aquarius placements find the most fulfillment from spreading themselves around like that. This sign is so curious about others and so eager to make these social and intellectual connections. And there are so many people in the world that provide ample opportunity to do so. As a result, even though Aquarius does have its handful of really close buddies, it’s suffocating to always have to be around these people.

Another reason why an exclusive group of friends brings a lack of freedom for Aquarius is that these groups often come with rules. Going against social judgment is a big-time theme for this sign and it means facing the disapproval of others on a regular basis. It’s often much easier for Aquarius to do so with the people who come and go; their acquaintances and their more distant friends. When you hang out with someone all the time, they begin acting as a major influence on your choices. It’s the whole “on Wednesdays, we wear pink” thing from Mean Girls. If Cady wanted to be a part of the group, she had to follow the rules because even their Queen Bee Regina got kicked out for not following the approved-of standards of the others. Not all friend groups will exert such judgmental pressure to “measure up” all the time. But, still, the idea of having to constantly “sign off” with other people exhausts independent Aquarius, which is very interested in your viewpoint and ideas when it concerns other, more important things, not when it concerns himself or herself.

All of this can be the reason why Aquarius people can feel quite socially isolated or alienated, in spite of the fact of being so likable and friendly. Aquarius, in its truest expression, is always a nonconformist. In the end, this energy compels a person to not want to fit in and to not have to rely on other people to survive on a social level. The fact that other people do can make certain folks with an Aquarius influence feel very bored, uncomfortable, or out-of-place in the midst of their social scene. Being the opposite of Leo, which sees itself as the center of everything, Aquarius is just here to figure out the actual center of everything; the gravitational pull that brings us all together. When people stop focusing on togetherness, in a way that’s broader and bigger, free of the pettiness, judgment, or “labels” that can keep people behaving as if they’re in high school, Aquarius can then feel out of the loop and, then, just go off on their own and do their own thing.

The important thing for Aquarius is to focus on the greater good, which does not necessarily have to be achieved by getting political or being humanitarian (although these are regularly recommended, successful routes for Aquarius). Having this influence can definitely make you get involved with any sort of organization that will do important or progressive things in the world. But, the greater good can also be accomplished on a smaller level, which is really not that small, if you think about it. I think Aquarius placements have to be expressed in a way that doesn’t make anyone feel excluded, especially for any sort of superficial or unimportant reason. Aquarius’ ability to make people feel like they belong and like they matter, regardless of “who they know” or what sort of person they may appear to be, is a big part of what makes this sign special and what allows them to do good. In the end, Aquarius can achieve the greater good simply by spreading the sort of egalitarian positivity around, making sure that no one gets left out and that no one feels inferior or judged.

All of this can apply for those who have personal planets in Aquarius, the Ascendant or Midheaven in Aquarius, and also the North Node in Aquarius (which is my placement, along with Aquarius Rising). In some way or another, making everyone feel like they belong is the aim of these placements. Not everyone has this ability and it’s why those of us with Aquarius placements regularly end up feeling like the freaks that don’t belong (a particularly challenging element of my North Node because then it threatens the applause my Leo South Node wants). But, in the end, this experience of being judged, misunderstood, or ostracized gives us a strong understanding of how someone else feels on the receiving end of that; hence, the compassionate water that Aquarius bears yet in a very intellectual way.

My Aquarius North Node and Ascendant gets this and it’s why the idea of being a part of a “group”, like is often recommended to those with this North Node, just doesn’t exactly ring true. That just leads to less inclusiveness and openness! But, my greater potential does lie in figuring out what I can do to make other people feel accepted and understood, while also realizing that the only group that really matters is humanity itself. Aquarius wants everyone to get a piece of the pie and this manifests in many different ways. While it leads to investing in higher causes, it also means just living up to ideals and engaging with everyone with an attitude of acceptance is one of them.


  1. It'll probably seem great for Pluto to transit your north node. A lot of soul fulfillment. Are you already feeling the coming effects?

    But just for the sake of opinion: What do you think of Pluto transiting part of fortune in the 4th house?
    I would imagine, I'd be in store for a treat.

  2. I have saturn in aquarius and all my saturn-aquarius-generation friends have distant friendships. however, this is what we all prefer! We dont see each other for months and dont talk on the phone etc. then when we meet we start the conversation just where we left like nothing happened! It is actually freedom. Amazing article, really resonates with me. Thank you.

  3. Have you ever considered doing a "house rulers in the houses," series?

  4. I am not in Aquarius but I do really admire this sign and everything is stands for. Awesome read!

  5. I don't have anything in Aquarius (well except my South Node), but I do have a busy 11th house - Moon, Mars in Cancer and North Node in Leo. I could really relate to what you've written here. The need to belong, but in the same time not to lock yourself in one place, one group. To be part of the group, but in the same time to be free. To express yourself and your ideas through the group where everyone is free to do that and everyone feels completely themselves but in the same time part of something bigger. Inspiring and being inspired by others.
    This article really resonated with me on a deep level, thank you :)

  6. I have Sun and Moon in Aqua and I completely agree with you, although, to be fair, ever since I was a little I have longed to be part of a group. A group like an entourage, you know the cool one in which friends fight for each other and protect each other, stuff like that.
    As I grew older and I failed at this I understood that much of it was my own fault. In high school I had a close friend and I decided to move my seat in the class away from her(she was a bit more shy) because I wanted to be in a seat where I could have a better view and listen. Never once did I consider it would offend her. It did. In my mind a seat wasn't keeping our friendship alive. The fact that people were starting to look at us as inseparable and it kept cutting my access to knowing other people bugged me as well. In the name of freedom Aquas can be real jerks. I admit it. And I say this because very few people like being left behind, no matter what the excuse is. I myself don't like being left behind.

    With your NN in Aqua, welcome to being a villain.
    I also noticed people with NN in Aries have a destiny of becoming or appearing to be villains.

    1. Haha a villain? Oh Aquarius is not that bad. Just misunderstood.

      I think we live in a rather codependent culture - a lot of people's friendships can get very clingy - and Aquarius just isn't into that, for the most part. Like the thing about you switching seats in class and your friend getting mad. It's not cold but it may seem that way to some who are more swayed by sentiment and personal needs. Aquarius just doesn't want the majority of people clinging to them like that because it becomes so possessive and yes cuts off their freedom.

      I do relate to that more and more, especially with my North Node also being in the 1st House. I really like feeling free and independent and I don't get attached to most people. I will always enjoy building and maintaining closeness with a significant other or best friend. But even then, I'm still going to need time and space to do my own thing.

  7. As an Aquarius Rising, this article dead on. I can't conform to any group of people and therefore, I get the stare from others that says I am a freak. I know that outside looking in feeling, my Virgo Sun tries to make me feel guilty for not conforming, but having Uranus on my Sun as well, it kicks my Sun and says, "I will absolutely not follow any crowd or individual. I prefer doing my own thing."

  8. @ Bellagarota

    I agree with Bellagarota about people with strong Aquarian placements can be villains. I did have best girlfriend with your placement Sun and Moon in Aquarius, since elementary school until high school we were together. I did not misunderstood her like Wayman is saying, that Aquarian placements can be misunderstood for their striving for freedom.
    In my experience with her ,- my best friend with our experience together with her also in our later years in life and with some few others people with Aquarian placements ( Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, NN, SN),- they can be cold calculated, prone to shift to rational mind on the regular basis when they decide, they are in to something new, - they cut the ties easily. They believe it's very independent and very interesting. And it is their mistake while it's just cold - hearted, not considerate, indifferent.

    Every sign has it's own flaw. Aquarian flaw is - cold rationality. Aquarian lesson is to keep their individuality without running away and getting intimidated when the connection between people is getting close. I always find it intriguing about Aquarius that they see attempts to their freedom and getting inconsistent, contradictory and even wary in their behavior and just to make some point, they stir stuff up to proof some kind of non - conformisme.

    11th house is the social house,- meaning visible, that's why every Aquarian placement is noticeable. I can imagine they want to hide sometimes. I believe it's applicable to Aquarius: " You can run, but you can't hide". It's a great sign like every sign with own flaws like every other.

    I found the saying of Bellagarota, that Aquarians can be villains quite sharp especially, because she found that observation about herself. Very honest indeed.

    1. I have an Aquarius Sun and Mercury. I understand the perception that many Aquarius' give off. I do believe that villain is a harsh assessment for a very complex sign. I admit to my own complexity. I am rather a paradox, even to myself. I detach easily from situations and people, not out of a calculated move, but more on an unconscious level. It is who we Aquarius' are on the deepest level. This is why Aquarius is known as the sign of the Humanitarian. We hold a keen understanding for humanity at large, yet struggle in person-to-person engagement. I have lost many friends who could not accept my nature. In my younger years I struggled to fit into groups as well. As I grew into adulthood, and then middle-age, through the in depth study of astrology I came to understand myself and my soul purpose. Aquarius is ruled by Uranus and Saturn as well. We have an innate desire to break the rules of conformity, yet desire as well to fit into the traditional group setting. I truly believe that Aquarius' only get better with age and experience. Many with strong Aquarian energy in the birthchart feel a strong call to affect humanity in some way. Often that calls for letting go of the need to please people. It is the Aquarian way.


    And @Balta Yoshi yeah what you said about cold rationality is spot on. I really cut ties so easily, I've hurt people doing that. Usually it's because I feel trapped/stifled. And it's like, I want to keep flowing in the stream, move forward, am looking eagerly to the future, I think that's what's meant when Aquarius is always connected to "the future". So I think there's some annoyance, like, "well why can't the other person move on, I'm sure they'll move on soon..." cause I think it (moving on) is Really easy for us Aqua sun or moon people?
    But uh, yeah, I think personally the urge to "run away" from relationships will always be present in me.

    I think what Wayman wrote about Aquarius observing groups, the outsider looking in, is so relatable. There's not really a desire to fit in or participate, at all, at least for me. I love seeing others interact, seeing COMMUNITIES, I think it's really beautiful, but I don't want to join in. :p Like, um, with forums and things online, where people of all ages and backgrounds come together to talk about a common interest, it's so great and I like reading through threads just.. appreciating it, the "togetherness that's free of pettiness and judgement". Things like that are Aquariusy, one of the biggest, if not The biggest connections between Aqua and technology/internet, imo. + You (Wayman) are so right in that spreading around, making connections with people from all walks of life, is what's fulfilling/needed. This comment is too dosjointed and filled w/ personal pronouns. But yes a stellar post!!

    1. @ BlueBaloo

      Your comment is not dosjoited, very interesting actually and sincere. Thank's for your reply, it's nice to exchange thoughts. Yes, indeed, Wayman is a very good astrologer and communicator. May be he will start an astrological forum one day ...or not... :)

      About Aquarian relationships speaking...Ones upon time :) i have read a big astrological report on compatibility between signs among married couples. The research was done by Russian astrologers in the years 1980 - ties. They looked on the Sun placement of the couples which are married for a long time and questioned the Sun placements of those which are divorced,- what was the Sun sign of their previous partners.The research was going on for few years, cause the country as Russia suddenly had very high divorce rate in the 80 - ties years and the astrologers were curious about this. The quantity of questioned couples was about fifteen hundred. Guess what, it appeared that Aquarius is one of the most stick in the marriage signs, it is the sign with almost no history of divorce. Funny, huh...I guess it's because Aquarius is a "fixed" sign, - decision making and taking is a tough thing to do for fixed signs, but when it's done it's done big time. The sign they have the longest marriages with is Taurus for a men, for women the signs were more verified, but mostly it was Sagittarius men the Aquarius woman were married to for a long time.

      Ones i have mentioned this, the funny thing about Sagittarius men ,- the zone where Sagittarius men was mentioned, to which sign Sagittarius men were attracted and sticked to and if he remains in marriage or not, - they answer zone was unknown, was all blank :).
      That's all for now.

  10. I really identify with this although I don't have any personal planet in Aquarius or the 11th house. I do have Jupiter and Uranus conjunct in Aquarius though, maybe that's why.

  11. I have an Aquarius rising and moon. Also I have a planet called Pallas in Aquarius as well.

  12. Wayman,

    I'm very happy I found your blog. I believe you made reference to the opposite of Leo in your post. I find that Aquarians sometimes bring Leo qualities into their group interactions and in effect are saying through rule-breaking and other sometimes "selfish" behavior, I'm more "progressive," I'm more "evolved" than others. Aquarians are like Leo's, identified with ego, but within a group content. A lot of the abstract ideas and concepts that Aquarians hold make them visionaries and humanitarians, but a some of them don't really care for humans and human interaction. I also find some of the Aquarians I know to be dreamers of impossible dreams.

    1. "...I also find some of the Aquarians I know to be dreamers of impossible dreams."

      I can understand never being short on dreams and visions and when considering my strong points and weak points I also believe that sometimes I may need to team up with another person to help edit & bring my vision to reality (better this then to let it just sit and possibly die). Maybe someone with cardinal qualities. Every sign has some weakness and when we realize what that is, then we can find a remedy to not stay stuck and learn how to build power in an area that is weak.

  13. thank you for your insightful readings of the lesser discussed angles and math points (descendant and the nodes). i have aquarius ascendant (28) with Pisces north node in the first house with pisces intercepted. so my first house is kinda large from 28 aquarius to the first decant of aries. my duplication is with Cancer (house V & VI) and Capricorn (XI & XII). yeah, capricorn runs a tight ship in the 12th House! poor capricorn, thinking she's jesus and the president of the united states!! and yeah, i'm a sixth house leo with cancer in charge. quiet the "introverted" Virgoen Lion with mostly gemini, water & earth sign friends. anyway, i just wanted to thank you for standing up for the "Cup boy" who is so oft misunderstood. that's it. cheers. john