Saturday, November 19, 2016

North Node in the 1st House: A New Attitude



People often want to know what the difference is between having the North Node in a sign and in the house that rules that sign. It’s not exactly the same, even though there will be certain similarities. So, having the North Node in the 1st is not exactly the same as an Aries North Node. Yet, there were still be many similarities, including the imperative to be your own person and go down your own path, regardless of what someone else says, does, or thinks. Those of us with a 1st House North Node have to express and live out that Aries-like sense of independence and initiative, not needing to live through other people or have someone else by our side to feel complete. 

When you have the North Node in the 1st, you need to not be defined by anyone but yourself. The problem is that people with this placement come from a past where other people heavily defined them. I mean that in both ways, such as they feeling more complete or assured when depending on someone else, emotionally or mentally, and having other people tell you who you are and who you should be. Since the 1st House is our own individual point of view that we view and approach life with, having the North Node in the 1st means that what you really want out of this lifetime is to have your own point of view on just about everything, including yourself. When you assume this brand new attitude, you will be able to do whatever you want to do. 



People who read this blog regularly will probably know that this is my North Node placement because I talk about it pretty frequently. The thing that made me want to write this article, though, was a recent sort of identity crisis. I was having this conversation with some people about how it is possible that a person’s birth certificate could, in fact, have the wrong time. Of course, this could open up a big can of worms. I’m not saying it will be the case for everyone. But, it is definitely possible because birth certificates are put together by human beings and, well, humans can make mistakes. If so, I would say that the reasonable margin of error could be about an hour, since when a baby is born, there is so much happening at once that the nurses are often busy and scattered and the time could be remembered as being either an hour earlier or later. 

I say all of this because my birth certificate's time has told me that I'm a Capricorn Rising and I have never felt like that was completely right. I feel a lot more like an Aquarius Rising. If the 1st House is your outlook on life, I have always felt like my outlook is that of the one who is just different than everyone else (or an alien from outer space, as I have always called myself). In fact, that has been a constant thread throughout my life, more so than Capricorn-like things. So, that brought up feelings of doubt. What if my birth certificate, which I have always owned since I got into astrology, listed my birth time as being an hour earlier than what it was? What if I was born around 7:24 PM and not 6:24 PM? That would have given me an Aquarius Ascendant, putting my North Node in the same sign as my Rising.

It would explain why I have never had problems being openly weird (which would be Uranus in the 11th, in the new chart, and contrary to the typical Uranus in the 12th description), like the phase I went through in the ninth grade where I dressed outrageously and oddly just so people would know I don’t conform, why I have always been able to be friends with anyone, regardless of their “label”, and insisted on being unpretentious and against prejudices. Deep down, I’m not detached at all but I definitely can act like it and seem like it. And people do see me more in Aquarian ways (intellectual, different, friendly, chill, etc.) than Capricorn ways. With either chart, I’d have Saturn in the 12th, which would explain why those Saturn traits are not that obvious. I would also have Saturn conjunct Uranus either way, so both planets still really rule my life. There is a very fine line between both charts. 

Update: I basically decided to really look into this and rectify my chart. It seems like being an early-degree Aquarius Rising is a much better fit for me, not only in terms of certain chart placements but various transits I've gone through. I just remember, when I first had my chart done, that the Capricorn Ascendant was the one thing that didn't entirely make sense for me. Now, I see why. Birth chart rectification is a specific process and it's not necessary for everyone. For some people, it is, even if you seem to have the right time. For me, the Aquarius Ascendant chart seems like a much more perfect fit.

Even if I wasn't an actual Aquarius Rising, the North Node in the 1st would have done a great job of pushing me in the direction of acting and being like one. Yet, it shows how the 1st House North Node is about doing what you want to do. There will be many people who have this placement and actually have their North Node in the sign that follows their Ascendant. If that’s the case, it’s like you came into this life and took on a role that wasn't right for you (this is also why I swear by Placidus because it tells a much more complex and interesting story of a person’s life, instead of looking at it all too neatly and simply). 

It may take a while but when you finally realize that you were actually meant to live as the North Node sign, instead of the preceding sign that the Ascendant is in, you really grow as a person. If you have a 1st House North Node in the same sign as your Ascendant (and even conjunct the Ascendant), you just weren’t really given the right set of tools to be like that sign. Either way, whether we were forced into being someone we didn’t want to be or were not given the right direction to be who we wanted, we are now being summoned to live how we want to live.

Since we are highly experienced in our South Node house, it only makes sense that our early life is quite devoid of the concerns of our North Node house. The South Node is, after all, your past. I don’t just say “past life” because it is also your past in this life. So, with the North Node in the 1st, you have the South Node in the 7th. Therefore, the early part of your life is spent thinking a lot about how your actions affect other people. And if you believe in past lives, this is because you came into this life with a lot of past-life experience in relationships. However, this manifests in an unbalanced way early in life, leaving your 1st House to be neglected.

One of the many things that the 1st House represents is the first several years of a person’s life. This is when we are just behaving solely according to our impulses and desires. Having the North Node in the 1st usually means that you did not have an opportunity to act on your impulses and desires very much, if at all. Children with this placement typically do not get to just go through this phase of life without worrying about the consequences or how people will react. All kids should be conditioned to behave a certain way, for sure. But, with this placement, that conditioning was so the child could be a true mirror of what the parent wanted them to be. 

1st House North Node children do not kick and scream and shout to get their way. In fact, they are not at all concerned with having their way, which can actually be quite a developmental issue, since kids are supposed to learn how and when to say “no” during this time. Even if it can be a bit tough on the parents, it’s still healthy, in moderation. However, kids with this placement usually don’t say “no”. It was all about being agreeable and just getting along with the parent. In this way, those of us with North Node in the 1st learn how to be good at relationships basically right after we learn how to talk. We figure out how to just be really nice, agreeable kids who don’t rock the boat, who compromise, don’t have ugly or upsetting temper tantrums, and are just easy to deal with.

Because we don’t figure out how to separate ourselves from others, starting with the parents, we don’t figure out our own vision of things. So, in terms of the actual Ascendant, with this placement, it can be something that is either forced upon us (if it’s in a different sign than the North Node) or something that was not encouraged at all (if it’s in the same sign). For me, I can see either case being true. I did not have a progressive, open-minded, free-for-all kind of early environment, a la Aquarius. I was not given much room to think for myself or just be myself without any pressure. True to the South Node in Leo in the 7th on top of my Sun, I felt required to do a ton of “performing” and was always conscious of the “reviews” that performance was getting. 

But, I always say that the North Node is something that is not learned. We don’t pull these traits out of thin air. They are brewing inside of us and just need to be acknowledged, accessed, and let out into the light. And they end up developing and growing inside of us because of the imbalance of our South Node and a dissatisfaction with what it has to offer us. So, there is only so much “playing nice” that the 1st House North Node can do. Our North Node is so powerful that it ends up emerging in certain ways, even when we don’t mean for it to. I feel like most North Node in the 1st people grow up acting out some sort of unconscious rebellion, some stomping of their feet and saying “no” finally, to the chagrin of the adults around them. 

Basically, kids and adolescents with this placements are generally goody two shoes who feel compelled to act out or go bad in some way or on some level. For me, it was in school. There were many times where I could have gotten straight A’s and I just did not care. I wouldn’t study, I wouldn’t pay attention in class, I hated doing most projects. Yet, I was still “nice” about it and not an actual brat in my behavior. This is a phase that’s taken on with a passive-aggressive spirit for those with this placement. The child or teenager isn’t actually screaming at their parents or showing blatant disrespect. They don’t seem like they are trying to be a troublemaker and probably still feel a lot of guilt or pressure to be good. But, underneath all of that, is this yearning to say “No, I’m going to do what I want and I’m sick of being who you want me to be.”

This carries on into adulthood and ends up coming out even more powerfully because when we reach maturity is when we are capable of really owning and expressing our North Node. So, it’s around the late 20’s or early 30’s that those of us with the 1st House North Node learn that it’s alright to do whatever we want. We are being given permission to by the Universe, as it wants us to succeed at our North Node and puts us on track to do so. We are being allowed to put our desires first and to not be overly concerned with how it is going to affect other people. To a certain extent, we are being allowed to be like small children, that phase of life symbolized by the 1st House, acting on and trusting our impulses and not worrying that much about the consequences. Just do it! 



I’m not saying take that to a dangerous or stupid extreme. Do think about certain consequences, of course. But, for the North Node in the 1st person, this reliance on our own instincts and our own point of view means that we don’t have to be preoccupied with what’s going to happen or where it’s going to lead us. Just following our impulses will lead us in the right direction. So, that means letting go of the nice guy or good girl role that we have spent so much time living up to. It doesn’t mean that we won’t be nice people anymore because the 1st House North Node person will always have a sweet, goodhearted charm underneath it all. But, we spend so much time trying to make people think the best of us and by trying to be the most appealing version of our South Node sign possible. Now, it’s about just being the North Node sign, whether that’s “good” or not. We have to let go of those preconceived notions of how to behave. 

The best way to put it is that you are allowed to express some of your North Node sign’s not-so-great qualities. If you have the North Node in Taurus in the 1st, you are allowed to have your moments of being stubborn, self-indulgent, or even flat-out lazy. If you have the 1st House North Node in Capricorn in the 1st, you are being given permission to be occasionally stern and tough-loving or to put your career first. Sagittarius North Node in the 1st? You’re allowed to not have a filter, to be kind of careless, to just keep moving forward and rarely look back. In the end, you expressing these traits isn’t you being a “bad person.” But, you have spent more than enough time trying to be good and trying to make everyone happy. Now, you just need to make you happy.

For me, with North Node in Aquarius in the 1st, I feel like I am allowed to keep a certain distance and detachment, even when it’s not the nicest thing to do. I’m so bighearted and generous, so it has been my pattern in the past to create that special closeness with people and be close to them and only them. But, that never works. The Universe actually wants me to prioritize my ideals and my causes first. I’m very friendly and love people as a whole but I’m also being allowed to not give too much of a shit about people because, sorry, you’re not more special than anyone else. That is Aquarius’ major flaw, as is being quite inconsistent and unpredictable; another pattern that I’m being allowed to indulge in. But, to have the 1st House North Node is to behave in a way that is totally honest to that North Node sign, flaws and all, instead of trying to create the prettiest and most appealing package that will get you liked by everyone. 

However, when we focus on our North Node, we get what our South Node wants. So, 1st House North Node people are actually more likable when we don’t care about being likable. It’s when I play it cool, follow my own random rhythm, and keep a certain distance that I end up getting the most praise from people, whereas trying so earnestly to be praised always falls flat. For Taurus North Node in the 1st, trying to be so deeply connected with others won’t work too well. It’s when you remain focused on your own simple, stable affairs that people will feel most passionately about you. Capricorn North Node in the 1st House will allow you to find that sensitive, responsive, caring rapport with others when you stay strong and just focus on handling your own business. 

The 7th House represents our partnerships in life and the South Node being here means that we not only have been constantly seeking some sort of partner but have constantly been molding ourselves into the perfect partner in the past, whether it’s for a significant other, a close friend, a relative, whoever else. But, we now need to turn in the direction of just being an individual. When we focus on just being recognized as our North Node sign, regardless of what people will say about it, then we will end up attracting the people into our lives who can provide us with that partnership to automatically balance our energies out. With these people, we can safely express some of our South Node qualities, just as long as we remember that this life of ours is not a lifetime about partnerships. So, as lovely as your romantic partner or best friend may be, do not live for them or through them (another trait of this placement can be actually taking on the personal qualities of others, often to serve as the perfect reflection of them in order to be liked). 

Instead, this is a lifetime that’s about living for yourself. The 1st House North Node is probably the easiest house placement of the Nodes to describe because you just have to act like the sign that the North Node is in. My suggestion is for you to think of yourself as the Rising sign that correlates with your 1st House North Node. Obviously, if you have a Taurus Rising and a 1st House Taurus North Node, that’s pretty simple. But, your Ascendant may be in Aries or even in Pisces, if the 1st is really intercepted. In this case, you need to think of yourself as more of a Taurus Ascendant. Your actual birth chart isn’t going to change. But, I’m talking about just altering the way you live and see yourself. This is the energy you came here to embody and be recognized as. You will probably find that the more you become comfortable with your North Node, the more you will seem like you have the Ascendant in the sign it’s in. When you have the North Node in the 1st, you get to define yourself.

8 comments:

  1. hi. very interesting reading. I also have an aquaruis rising, with NN in 9th house. People frequently said me "that i was looking eccentric and somewhat crazy". and my parents told me, in my first indipendent walk was toward an home wiring box (without conseqences).

    ReplyDelete
  2. So nice, I am the oppoite. 7th house NN in scorpio. I tried to assimilate the role text. Any other suggestion? I really love scorpio, it is my sing, an I also have others placements there. But thinking well, I agree I am always trying to scape to the taurus form...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh man, that was a real experience to read. Thank you. So much to think about, gonna save this to my computer so I can reflect on it longer and deeper lol
    I definitely need to understand Virgo better. I think I understand some... Some of it's gotta be actually working on things, being diligent, bettering myself, not being loose and complacent in a Piscean way, which I've been realising the past few days so seeing this post was def a reassurance sent from the ether. As if I needed more confirmation that getting back into academia next year is the way to go, it'll satisfy the aqua sure but also provide a perfect way to nurture/grow the virgo.
    And all the stuff about trying to please everyone, be good and perfect in childhood and never saying no, and I'll get a better reaction if I stop trying to be the most pleasing and attending to sb's every imagined need and thoughts, you're so right... Dropping that's a big step towards a more ideal me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, good luck on going back to school! It sounds like Virgo is your North Node in the 1st. So, you need to embrace the "bad" side of Virgo, sometimes, which means not being afraid to get a little judgmental and critical. I think you always try to please people by being so forgiving and so go-with-the-flow. But, you need to be more discerning with people and stick to your own specific plan for things, whether people like it or not. And your relationships will eventually work out better this way, because then you will attract the kind of people who are fluid and open enough to go along with your plans and accept your constructive criticism.

      Delete
    2. Haha, VERY relevant!! Thanks heaps for the advice, you're right on the money, both with how I am and what I should do, and I'll try to follow it. There's no way I can develop myself and create an identity when I spend so much mental energy trying to serve, adapt to, and sacrifice for everyone who happens by. That 7th stellium struggle :/
      <3

      Delete
    3. I think I need to thank you another time cause this, hearing it from someone else, has really had an effect on me, and I'm feeling more confident about asserting myself instead of sacrificing all the time, so THANK YOU sincerely

      Delete
    4. You're very welcome! And as a 7th House person, I know the struggle. :)

      Delete
  4. Hey I have north node in Leo in first house but it follows my AC in Cancer. What does this mean?

    ReplyDelete