I get asked quite frequently about Chiron but I have never done an article about it. Chiron is possibly the most famous asteroid in the birth chart, along with Lilith. It’s also, in my opinion, the most relevant. In terms of the asteroids, I really only care about Chiron and Lilith and, sometimes, Part of Fortune. I’m sorry but I just don’t give a shit about Nessus and Narcissus and all of the slew of random asteroids out there. I feel like they’re too obscure and not all that meaningful. Chiron, however, is actually quite powerful. It’s taken me a while to totally grasp just how it manifests in one’s chart and, subsequently, their life. But, to me, it seems as if Chiron, by sign and house and aspect, represents just how we may try too hard, overcompensating for some early feeling of lack, dysfunction, or failure that still haunts us today.
There are a lot of harsh memories attached to one’s Chiron. It represents many negative or difficult experiences in our early life. But, unlike other placements in the birth chart, like the 8th House, that can represent woundedness that needs to be healed, I think that Chiron operates in a way that can make us really fixated on whatever pain we experienced through its placement and quite determined to make up for it. For this reason, we can put a lot of effort into this area of life or these concerns, to a degree that makes it clear that we must be masking some sort of insecurity or feeling of emptiness. It’s sort of like that person who has a terrible childhood and then spends their adulthood trying extra hard to be as successful, fabulous, famous, and respected as possible. They are clearly being driven by feelings of inadequacy or uncertainty from the past.
And we might not realize it but trying really hard to be “successful” in terms of our Chiron actually can only cause that pain to repeat. The cycle may continue because we become so reactive or so desperate in regards to the concerns of our Chiron that these things, again, turn out to be quite painful or bog us down. Chiron represents healing, for this reason. We truly find healing via our Chiron when we are capable of neither living in fear and feeling weighed down by this placement nor being too obsessed with it and with outrunning that pain from the past. We must find a middle ground that allows us to express our Chiron in a healthy, balanced way, which will eventually show us that this life area doesn’t have to be that terrifying and also doesn’t have to be so dramatic.
But, before we get to that place, our Chiron placement can really victimize us, making us feel helpless, scared, overwhelmed, or just out of luck. If someone has Chiron in Leo and in the 4th House, there can be past experiences where they didn’t feel applauded, recognized, or in control, within their private lives and from those who they call family. So, private and family matters can be a serious sore spot for this person because their pride and their ego are constantly being threatened. Therefore, they can put a lot of energy into trying to impress their family, trying to live the most fabulous personal life that they can. This is usually when they become an adult and are attempting to outrun the scared little boy or girl they once were. Now, things are going to be different! They’re going to rule the roost if it’s the last thing that they do.
It’s this fear-driven thirst for what our Chiron represents that can do us in because we are still operating from a place of insecurity, hurt, or resentment. That person with the tough childhood who is now world-famous and wealthy can still, at the end of the day, feel like that little kid who didn’t get enough love. That pain fuels their journey for more fame, more money, more power. But, it will remain unhealed and unresolved until they stop and realize just what exactly is driving them. When it comes to Chiron, we have to figure out what’s really going on. With a 4th House Leo Chiron, you have to figure out just why you care so much what your family thinks and why you can tap-dance so hard just so they notice you. Sometimes, a crisis may have to happen for this breakthrough to occur. So, it might take you starting some drama at Thanksgiving and creating a giant mess for you to realize that your yearning for the spotlight at home is quite unhealthy or unbalanced.
I have Chiron in Cancer in the 6th House, which I’ve already spoken a bit about in a previous article, in regards to being painfully affected by a very sensitive immune system and having health issues that were very emotional in origin. Also, it manifested in a way that prevented me from operating from day-to-day according to my feelings and my instincts. I felt almost physically pained by schedules as a child and having to ignore my own inner rhythm just to get things done. Homework, chores, and the like could often put me in the worst mood. I could be totally irrational about the work I had to do, regularly neglecting to even do it without knowing why. I didn’t know why I forgot to do that assignment or how I just remembered, at the last minute, the essay was due. But, often, I was unconsciously procrastinating to an extreme and then paying for it. I just was not reliable or consistent growing up and I regularly had to be reminded multiple times to do something.
As an adult, I have really tried to make up for all of that. I strove to be a reliable person with a strong work ethic, to be on top of everything, and to be on top of my health. Yet, with the 6th House Chiron in Cancer, all of this was very emotionally driven because feeling so unreliable was a very touchy spot in my psyche. I also made quite an exaggerated effort to be in touch with my emotions and to always listen to my moods. But, because I did that, my productivity levels were pretty crazy. Sometimes, that work ethic was crazy in a good way because I did learn how to work, work, work, channeling all of my feelings into a task. But, other times, it just meant I became overly swayed by how I felt in terms of working because, again, I wasn’t allowed to be in the past. Also, worries about my health could very easily become neurotic, resulting in hypochondriac tendencies or mentally uneasy states that turned into physical sickness or vice versa.
So, for me, I have to stop and ask myself why it’s so important for me to be so productive and consistent and, also, why I’m so obsessed with tuning into how I feel at the moment. Inevitably, I’m an Aquarius Ascendant, so I can’t be too much of one or the other. I can’t try to fit myself into a box and that means trying to adhere to a schedule or routine that is too rigid or predictable or “normal.” But, I also can’t let my emotions take over to a degree that robs me of my objectivity. With the 6th House Chiron in Cancer, I have learned recently that I need to be more balanced in terms of letting my instincts set the course of my day. I can get a lot done when I’m using that work as an emotional outlet and also when I am really dedicated to taking good care of myself, health-wise. But, I also can’t be too neurotic or reactive about my work or my health, either.
Applying this balance to your Chiron is what allows it to heal. There can be a deep-seated sense of “déjà vu” in terms of how it is expressed because it will keep bringing up similar situations in your life, over and over again, until you deal with the pain that is lying underneath. Chiron in Aries could haunt you by making you feel like a coward or a follower, over and over, until you stop trying to outrun these feelings and manage them in a healthy way. Chiron in the 11th House may indicate this ongoing sense of being ridiculed, ostracized, or misunderstood by your peers or also of not being able to make a difference in the world, again and again. The answer is not in pressing yourself to overcome these feelings and not be that person anymore. It’s to examine why this pain keeps happening and to do what you can to work through it.
That being said, I don’t think the pain of one’s Chiron ever totally goes away. A part of me may always feel like I just can’t live the functional, consistent daily existence that’s expected of me and that I am somehow not getting what I really need because of that. But, the pain that your Chiron will always feel, to some degree, is enough to keep reminding you to check in with yourself and maintain your inner equilibrium. And by not pushing yourself or things too far, you can avoid a lot of unnecessary pain, in this regard.