Thursday, April 20, 2017

Open Discussion: Your Toughest Transit(s)



I know that I’ve stated before that you can never really prepare for a transit. You just have to let it happen. Still, I only have several months left before my Saturn Return begins and I have felt like it is time to really face the issues that I’ve been dealing with for years – or my whole life, in some cases – and have never really worked through or gotten over. It’s not necessarily a preparation. It’s just me realizing that it won’t be long until my Saturn Return so I might as well deal with this stuff now because I’m going to have to, sooner or later. And if I wait, it will be much harder.

I guess I’m doing the best to take that upcoming transit in my own hands. It’s quite overwhelming working through all of your issues when you have Saturn in the 12th House, though. But, it’s also a true awakening. I’m having so many epiphanies about really existential and spiritual things now. It’s like diving into the ocean and trying to walk along the bottom, if you even reach it. I think this is happening now because Saturn is currently at 27 degrees Sagittarius and my Uranus is at 1 degree Capricorn. So, there is an out-of-sign conjunction happening between transiting Saturn and my natal Uranus, mirroring the Saturn conjunct Uranus aspect I have in my natal chart.

Because of that, I’m already feeling rumblings of my Saturn Return. I’m fully facing the realization that I’ll never have a so-called normal life or sense of security, thanks to the path I’ve taken, further emphasized by Uranus in my 11th. But, this is my purpose in life. More challenges seem to be popping up to remind me of this but I’m finding more strength and peace in this realization, as well. I’m just going through a lot of changes and I feel like I’m on the road to becoming who I’m really supposed to be. It’s something I think I’ll write about soon.  

Anyways, I figured it would be a good time to do another open discussion. This time, I’m just going to focus things more on you guys. I’m interested in what you believe your toughest transit has been. If you have more than one that stands out as really challenging, that’s fine, too. Why does it stand out and what did you go through at that time? You can decide how personal or not you want to get. But, I do think it’s great that many people feel the urge to share things on here. And maybe someone who is going through that same transit will be able to relate. 

I'm now closing the session for responses. Thanks to all those who joined in and shared. Even on the Internet, that's not always easy. Sorry if I didn't get to you but, as always, great discussion, everyone! 

Wayman

49 comments:

  1. My toughest transit by far was the cardinal cross we had back in 2014. There were a series of eclipses in Aries and Libra, which hit my 4th and 10th houses repectively, and with Pluto in the 1st and Jupiter in the 7th, things hit very, very hard. Additionally, I've got a natal Pluto-Moon conjunction in Libra in the 10th and I'm pretty sure the eclipses hit that a time or two.

    Interesting fact: I read my chart in 2014 with an incorrect birth time, thinking myself to be a Libra rising with Pluto in the 1st and a Scorpio Moon instead of a Sagittarius rising with Moon-Pluto in the 10th, so I did take that cardinal cross quite personally, though it still is personal, I guess, if the Moon is still involved.

    Though...speaking of Saturn returns, mine was a seriously difficult time, too. I divorced then, when Saturn was moving through Libra, and had to completely reinvent myself as an newly civilian single mother. Insane times, thought I wouldn't survive it. I did, and then the eclipses and cardinal cross of 2014 happened, which I also thought would kill me, and which I (obviously) also survived.

    One final transit I thought was extremely tough was Mars retrograding over my natal Uranus at 29 Scorpio last summer. Over the period of Mars' retrograde, I was promoted to inheritor of the family business, had that offer retracted the very next day, lost my job, my car, and all of my money and had to, once again, reinvent myself. That was about a year ago...2016 was so rough.

    Now I'm feeling a different squeeze...Venus and Saturn are pretty tight there with Chiron and it's coming on about 7 years since my Saturn return, so I'm finally beginning to see some things come to fruition. A new business venture, some groundedness and stability, and the sense that, as the nodes shift into Leo and Aquarius respectively (my NN is in Leo in the 8th), I feel like I'm getting ready to be shot out of a cannon. Saturn's squeeze right now is checking to see if I've got all my boxes ticked and my aim is right.

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    1. I should add, since I didn't say so in the previous post, that during the time of the 2014 cardinal cross, I produced some of my very best academic work that centered around gender, sexuality, healing from sexual abuse, and reclamation of personal empowerment. I bled poison and inhaled new life during those eclipses. It was healing, but of a Plutonian nature, so hardcore but deep, karmic, and extraordinarily effective.

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    2. Oh, that's interesting that you now have a different chart. I know myself that it does cause you to look back and see certain transits more clearly and objectively. It is always important to just live and experience the transit and not control it based on how you think it should happen or what you think will happen.

      And good luck on your North Node Return soon! Is it going to happen right when the North Node moves into Leo?

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    3. Perhaps I misrepresented myself here, I'm not talking about 'conrolling' a transit, merely understanding it enough to find how to work within it and be less reactive, since it's difficult. I think there's movement between only passive and only active responses to transits. It's a spectrum, an interplay between allowing things to happen and understanding when and how to respond constructively.

      My NN is at 10* Leo, so it will be a while before I have a proper nodal return.

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    4. Oh, no, you didn't misrepresent yourself. I was really talking about myself and how I learned not to try and control a transit with ideas about how it's supposed to go.

      Also, you will actually feel it as long as the Leo North Node is in your NN's house, in my opinion. During my North Node Return, I felt it the entire time it was in my 1st, even after it stopped being conjunct my natal NN, culminating in a very pivotal event once it hit my Ascendant.

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    6. My toughest transit/ transits was in 2013 when I experienced a double Saturn Pluto/ Pluto conjunction Saturn. It was an awful painful time, issues of sex and debt came into play (transiting Saturn in Scorpio conjunction natal Pluto opposition Mars/ square Venus ) I had been going through years of repressing my homosexuality and it was that year that I finally just said to hell with it, I began secretly hooking up with guys and having really hot but clandestine affairs. That year a debt I had been putting off came back in full force and I was forced to sale my car and other things. I was in the process that year of getting into the army (transiting Pluto in Capricorn conjunction natal Saturn) and had to do extensive mental and physical tests to qualify, ultimately I ended up injuring my foot and was denied entry because of it. The worst part was I had already devoted over 9 months of preparation I.e several written exams, physical fitness tests, the $12,000 debt I had to pay. My natal Pluto is in the eighth house which rules sex, death, debts-- it was that year I truly experienced for the first time true sexual intimacy and the transformative feelings that come with it. It was beautiful but painful because I couldn't tell anyone of what I was doing and ultimately wasn't able to be open about it. My Saturn is in the tenth house which rules structures, government, rules- I had prepared vigorously to get into the army, every hurdle they presented to me I successfully got through (believe me there were many) but again at the last minute fate intervened and led me to another devastating failure. I tore a ligament in my foot ten days before my first deployment, I tried to conceal the fact but knew I wouldn't be able to do boot camp in my state. I gave up my chance of going to the army and sank into a deep and crippling depression I began a 3 month spiral of being trapped in my room while letting my foot heal, I turned to drugs and alcohol almost everyday to numb everything (natal Saturn conjunct Neptune) my bitterness manifested into me alienating myself from my entire family and friends, my grandmother died that year which was another blow. All in all it was a bitter lonely and awful time but just like everything else, that too did pass and I'm happier than ever now.

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  2. Saturn has been staying at my 5th house for quite a while now, and one way this has manifested is viewing children more as a responsibility than fun and enjoyable to be around. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I hate children but my responsibility with having to babysit them has taught me how hard of a job it really is and it makes me rethink how early in life I wanna have my own. There are times where they are so funny, cute and I can't get enough of their boundless imaginations and their insatiable curiosity but at other times, it makes me wanna go crazy when they don't listen, scream, and make huge messes. The 5th house is also supposed to be about fun but I don't think I have been having a lot of fun at all lately and my enjoyment of life has been minimal. My sun and pluto are in early Sag in my 5th house and when transiting saturn was conjuncting those two planets, it was a pretty bleak and depressing time.

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    1. Yes, I remember when transiting Saturn was conjunct my natal Sun. It does make it harder for you to find your confidence and just be yourself. At the same time, you do have the opportunity to build amazing newfound confidence if you are really dedicated to being self-aware.

      Since your Sun is in the 5th, Saturn was probably teaching you to be more self-aware in terms of the creative talents and the special attributes you have to offer. I think it may have been depressing because every time you doubted your gifts or your specialness, you felt crushed by that doubt. It may also be harder to be around kids now because you are putting unnecessary restrictions on your own self-expression when you really just want to be the big kid you were born to be. They're reminding you to stay loose and to freely express yourself but that's just giving you anxiety now.

      And yeah, it can also show you the pressures and demands of parenting. It is interesting that you have a babysitting job and this transit happens. But, everything does align for a reason.

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  3. I think my hardest was Sun square Saturn when was 22. I have Saturn in my 10th house, and at the time, I moved to London with what sounded like an amazing job offer - this would be my career! Well, it didn't turn out that way. I uprooted my life and was fired pretty quickly, then tried again to make it in London and was fired again! Clearly, I was not meant to be there or doing what I was doing, but it was very difficult to deal with at the time, and I came home with my tail between my legs.
    So, I applied for a teacher training course, and I got it. However, as this transit was still going on, I realised I didn't want to do that either, but it became clear as to what I did want as a career instead. I still have that career now, and don't regret it.
    My Saturn Return was not actually as hard, but I did have a tough training course that I had to pass in order to have this career, and I was going through that training at the time of my Saturn Return.

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    1. That's interesting because, if you think about it, the Sun is square your natal Saturn twice a year. So, it's an energy we're quite used to. It may have been because, around the time you turn 22, the transiting Saturn is squaring your natal Saturn or has ended its square to your Saturn and made things in your life quite challenging.

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    3. I meant transiting Saturn square natal Saturn in the 10th, sorry! Looking at the dates, it was almost an exact square when I was first fired!

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    4. It's okay. I thought that's what you meant. But, yeah, that can be a dramatic transit for everyone. I was kind of put through the ringer during mine, as well.

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  4. Great question. My toughest ones, all happened in the past few years and still going:
    Pluto opposite sun and Uranus square sun (lots of shakeups)
    Pluto square Saturn and Uranus opposite Pluto (I'm a Capricorn SN and have Sun square Saturn, so Saturn has had a strong hold on me for a while. Lots of limiting beliefs that had to go, but I was scared shitless to let go of the structure and walls I built around me all my life). Scared to lose control.
    Neptune opposite Midheaven--lost. Total loss of identity. No idea who am I, what the hell am I doing here, etc. very tough and uncomfortable place for a Capricorn SN when you are so tied to identity, accomplishments, and performance.
    Overall, It's like I've been shedding and shedding skin, tearing down walls and basically building a new human.

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    1. Yeah, you could also look at it as transiting Neptune being conjunct your Nadir. Because of this, you really need to spend this time finding refuge and peace within your private life, especially since you're a Pisces Nadir. More than ever, you need to create a blissful little world of your own at home where you can feel safe. And you have to do so at the expense of striving so hard to "make it" in the world. However, you don't have to give that up entirely. It's about balance. If you get the recharge and the meditation you need at home, you will be able to face the world more effectively.

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    2. Yep. Good thing is I don't have to work so i have been immersing myself into tv shows, music, movies, nature, my dogs, cooking.

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    3. That's perfect for this transit. :)

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  5. Hey Wayman!
    Soo. I'm just 18, and have been experience Pluto transit my ascendant. Although I am young, I have done that soul searching typically represented of Pluto in the 12th house from the 7th grade. The constant reiventing yourself, digging around the closet and taking out your old junk. I felt like a constant state of metamorphosis constantly phasing out old ways of thinking and writing extensively. So as of recently February the long anticipated event of pluto finally crossing my ascendant at 18.37 Capricorn finally occurred. Surpringly, the cool demeanor I had adopted before this transit pretty much flew out the window with all the graduating from highschool, moving 8hrs from home to my new home for college. I felt the really big urge to really probe and sink my teeth into the question in what I am doing, where am I headed, how has my past experiences shaped me to the person I am here, now and in college. I've been having a lot of questions about identity, but I think more than your average teen.

    Don't get me wrong, moving away and starting college has been fun, certainly empowering as I've been liberated from the responsibility of taking care of my siblings (3 younger ones with significant age gaps) cleaning the home etc. That although I have felt empowered through the months leading up to this transit, I hit a lot a very deep low point in January as I was brought down to my knees and experienced my first anxiety attack and all the thoughts that come with those symptoms. I feel more real, but for a short time there it made me want to hide in a cacoon, something that I don't typically relate to. Knowing that Pluto may have been driving force behind this has really helped get back to ease. But now I've learned that Pluto is going retrograde again from April 20th to September 28. From Capricorn 19 to cap 16. Is it likely that I will experience the similar existential crisis. Or ( I know it's what we make of it) will this be like.
    Pluto to me: okay kid, I'm going throw you a punch, take what you learn in this first round and apply as I come around for you in this second punch.

    my question to you is. How is Pluto crossing your ascendant the first time different from when Pluto crosses it again in retrograde and then again when it goes forward again. That's three times!

    All in all, it's been a really eye opening experience.
    Hope to hear from you soon.

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    1. This is actually a pretty fitting transit for you because it can make you even wiser beyond your years than you naturally are as a Capricorn Rising. Seeing as how you've just undergone the exact conjunction, it has been life-changing. I think Pluto retrograding and then going direct again is just going to cause you to really turn inward and make sure that you're doing the internal work needed to be truly empowered and resourceful, which is what this transit wants for you. When it goes direct, you'll have the opportunity to show just how much you've grown internally.

      It is a really intense transit but just trust that you'll be able to handle it and don't be too fatalistic about it.

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  6. My toughest transits are related to Saturn. Since 2014 Saturn is in my 7th house, conjuncts my Sun and squares my Mars. In 2014 my mum had an operation two times. It was a painful experience. Since 2014 My relationships with people and my friends are tested a lot. There were unpleasant moments with my friends so, I just cut them off. I understood that I appreciated wrong people. Also, since these transits my health suffered a lot, I feel overwhelmed, under the pressure all the time, and I became pretty self-conscious person. There were also other tough moments to deal with. So yeah It's really hard to handle Saturn transits.

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    1. I do remember you talking about that in another post. As a 7th House Sun, it has to be hitting you especially hard. But, you definitely have the chance now to strengthen your relationships and become a better partner/friend. When is Saturn going to leave your 7th?

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    2. Yes, it hit me pretty hard. It will leave in December of 2017.

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  7. Chiron squaring my stellium (Venus, Neptune, Sun and Mercury spread out over Scorpio and Sag), no question. I was taking care of my young niece at the time and one day after it was all over she said, "Auntie Aimee, you don't cry anymore." Although I guess one of the reasons it was so unpleasant is that it made me feel my pain instead of thinking it -- or preferably thinking about something else LOL (Moon in Gemini).

    There was also a very nasty Mars/Pluto dealio with long-term negative consequences, but I see now that it broke me out of an untenable situation I was incapable of taking care of myself. Oddly enough, Pluto conjuct my stellium was a lot of fun in a rollercoaster ride sort of way.

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    1. Yeah, I think people with Pluto energy are naturally able to handle Pluto transits very well. It can be overwhelming but it's not foreign territory, for sure. But, it's interesting that Chiron's transit affected you so much. Hopefully, that was a time where you could really heal and let go of some unresolved stuff.

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    2. Yeah, it was a weird time. Chiron square Moon passed without a blip -- oh wait, there was a big rift in my relationship with my mother (or, as I like to call her, the female parental unit), but that had been building for a long while. Maybe I had more experience with Chiron energy by that time, or maybe my Moon is much stronger (trine Jupiter and Mars, square Pluto) than my Sun. I dunno.

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    3. *Had/still have Saturn square Pluto going on too.

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    1. Astro.com has a list of the transiting planets for that day on their home page. So does Astrotheme. Just go there and then use your birth chart to see where the transiting planets fall into your chart or how they aspect your natal planets.

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  9. Probably the Pluto 12th House transit I had during the ages of 6-13 or thereabouts, in late Scorpio/early Sag.

    I was only a child, so wasn't really aware of astro transits then, or what they involved. In retrospect that was a good thing as I just went along with things for the most part.

    I've struggled to get a grip on what a Pluto 12th House transit means. Very few of the astro sites around seem to really get a grip on it, that said 12th House stuff is always pretty foggy and nebulous. But it does seem to have something to do with things you trust/rely on for stability changing? I can't get a handle on it myself.

    The main event was that my grandparents moved down to live with us, but things didn't go quite as expected. First my grandfather died of Parkinsons over the course of about eight months, [Pluto went over my natal Saturn at about this point I think] then there was a lot of stress with my grandmother living at home with us, so we found her a flat - but that took ages, we must have looked at 100 different ones. As I was only young I had to go everywhere with the adults, lots of hospital visits and flat viewings, so it was all rather drudging and restrictive. Some tensions at that time, though not constantly.

    My grandmother eventually died during the latter part of the transit and TBH it was a relief for everyone, I feel bad about saying that but she hadn't been happy and... it was just like life went into technicolour for a few years after that.

    Also, hospitals. During this transit every member of my close family was in hospital for something, sometimes on multiple occasions. Then as the transit drew to a close, it was my turn. From when the transit started I'd been bothered by what I presume was my appendix giving me stomach trouble at least once a year. Then at the end of Pluto's stay in my 12th, I had a very acute and swift onset of appendicitis, went into hospital and had my appendix removed. Not had the same type of stomach upsets since, so I can only deduce that was what had been causing them. But yeah, interesting how Plutonic that whole event was, quite literally having poison cut out of me.

    I don't know about other transits, but Pluto going over my Neptune was rather upsetting, though I do realise that's a generational thing and everyone at this point in time has had it, given the positions of the planets. My Saturn Return was alright actually, but then it kept on going through my 12th and over my Asc and that just made me really pessimistic.

    Next major transit is Pluto opposing my Sun/Mars conjunction, and then my Moon straight afterwards. Not sure how to deal with this, well actually I'm completely terrified. Although having said that I have Pluto square that stellium natally, and the stellium is also in my 8th House, so I guess I'm already familiar with the Plutonic energy to some extent. Still, I am very worried about it.

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  10. Also, Saturn in opposition and in the waning square of its cycle were pretty grinding. The first time, my school work got to a point I felt was ridiculous, I barely had time for dinner in the evenings. The second time it was just the reality check of leaving uni and looking for work, not helped by the fact that it went over my Mercury at that point.

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    1. Yes, that's some heavy stuff. I have been going through Pluto in the 12th transit for the past five years. I haven't had to deal with you what you went through. But, it has been really illuminating, sometimes painfully. It's been digging up everything I had blinded myself to and is forcing me to face it. That's especially intense as a person with 12th House planets because there's so much to unpack, as you know.

      Although it's been really tough and disillusioning, it's also gradually bringing me a greater sense of peace. I'm glad this happened before my Saturn Return in the 12th. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't be as ready. Pluto will still be there when I go through my Saturn Return, too. Like I said, I'm feeling a lot of major internal changes and the need to let go of a lot that I once let weigh me down. Hopefully, that all will pay off.

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  11. Saturn transit...oh god,you can't imagine in what depression am i now.Saturn has enterd in january in my 5 house,in opposition almost exact to my sun,squaring my moon,my natal saturn and trine ascendant.I broke up with my gf.7 amazing years,belive me,it was like a fairtyle.I have no job,i lost weight,difficult times in school...ecc I hope it ends soon.

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    1. I'm sorry you're struggling so much. Saturn can bring us seemingly the worst situations that actually turn out to be really good for us. So, I hope you can turn it around.

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  12. I've had two really tough transits so far-first was my Saturn return, in house 4-my whole life turned upside down. Everything I had been closing my eyes to surfaced and made me face the reality and it was the hardest period of my life. Change of home and career path, debts, breaking up of long term relationship, everything at once. But my family really stepped up-like never before, which I guess my Saturn in 4th was waiting for. I grew up overnight, even tho I had had to face some serious challenges my whole life. My second very difficult transit is still happening-Pluto in 7th. Never have I experienced such loneliness and fear of dying alone. I have a 12th house stellium, Sun included, so loneliness and isolation are nothing strange to me, but this is a different level of feeling left to die (Pluto) alone... What it has taught me so far, is that I need to admit certain things to myself and just let the life go on-there's nothing I can do but wait.

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    1. What you went through during your Saturn Return does sound very symbolic for Saturn in the 4th. The good thing is that you found and built that support system for yourself that the 4th House Saturn requires you to have.

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  13. Pluto transiting my moon conj. Mercury in 9th house was no walk in the park, I think it amplified and aided my adolescent mind into religion-related themes, as well as digging into my self and leaving no stones unturned. I think overthinking esp. at that age, is really normal, but it def. feels like I made more progress in that area of my life. I'm Now anticipating Pluto and soon to be Saturn tear through the rest of my stellium. Saturn I'm less anxious about, Pluto's way scarier.

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  14. Pluto square Pluto/Mercury. Saturn transits were hard no denying, but in comparison to the Pluto Square of 37, they were a breeze.

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  16. Pluto is currently in an exact square to my 12th house Libra Moon, which is also conjunct transit Jupiter. Pluto is also 3 degrees away from its exact conjunction to my natal Venus in the 3rd. I am a Scorpio/Pluto rising in the 1st, so I deal with Pluto stuff pretty well, but this current stuff has been on another level. The more negative psychological aspects of Pluto like obsession, suspicion, jealousy, control, and paranoia have all reared their heads in ways I never knew I had in me. Also been seeing how my moon has projected so much in the past onto those closest to me. It's been humbling for sure!! To even become conscious of this behavior, let alone take responsibility for it and evolve has been so intense! The love I feel for my partner had definitely started to feel like it's bordering on obsession and it can become really painful if I let it. It's really forcing me to dig really deep and get to the root of my self-worth and intimacy issues, as well as my unconscious behaviors because my partner and I both care about this relationship very much. I'm really trying to utilize the current transits to learn what I can, it's just been really hard to overcome how powerful these different feelings are. I'm still just now starting to navigate it.

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  17. i'm still experiencing it and its not a totally negative transit, but by far the most far reaching: pluto conjunct my sun/uranus/neptune (at 18 deg capricorn, 5th house) opposing moon/mars (at 17 deg cancer, 11th house) and squaring jupiter (at 14 deg libra, 2nd house). its forced me to completely restructure my life. uranus squared all those planets from aries (8th) and my partner broke up with me, i moved out of home for the first time, and then with pluto from 2015 onwards a lot of people fell away from my life and i started to spend most of my time alone processing all the emotional fallout. with pluto, it feels like everything is all or nothing, relationships have either been intensely healing or they can't stay in my life, i swing between feeling really strong and like i am finding myself and being flat out hopeless. i can see how its helping me find my sense of "personal power" but its very hard!!

    it formed a conjunction to mercury a few years ago (9 deg capricorn) and that coincided w neptune conjunct venus in pisces, and i was very susceptible to manipulation and deceit then without the life experience to help me protect myself from it. and now i feel like pluto is helping me heal from it, so im grateful. but again it is so so so hard haha

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    1. That's the best attitude to have with a Pluto transit. It shows that you've grown from it. It is tough but it does leave you with so much more on a deeper psychological level once you survive it.

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  18. Undoubtedly it was when Saturn was transiting my first and second house. Along that transit, I was soaked in depression from head to toe, and even getting up was a hassle. Throw in a conjunction to my sun and mercury, and squares to my moon earlier on and Neptune later on, I was a mess....

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  19. Like SD and Wayman it has to be the pluto transit in 12th, my views over life, people and philosophy on a general basis shifted completly. Now pluto is conjuct natal neptune conjuct uranus in 12th. It's slightly scary especially since it's oposite mercury and in aspect (nice ones thankfully) to moon and mars, but i am kind of worried obout the pluto retrograde. Can i ask you if you can write anything about it that would be really nice to know what to expect (the saturn transit pluto in 10th square sun wasn't so nice either in all honnesty)

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    1. You shouldn't worry too much about the retrograde. It's really just a time where you are forced to reflect on things you may have avoided when Pluto was direct. Pluto is going to force you to go deep either way. The retrograde just requires you to go a bit deeper.

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  20. This year have been pretty intense for me. Universe has brought me some harsh Saturn lesson, with NN conjunct my natal Chiron in 10th house for awhile, and still is (3degrees Virgo), and 2 moths ago (26th feb) the new moon solar eclipse was conjunct my natal Saturn in 4th) wich I felt pretty intense those last months, have been like waking up from a dream. Then a few weeks later on march 12th, the full moon in virgo was exactly opposite my natal mars mercury conjunction in Pisces, with transiting chiron conjuct my Mercury and Mars. All this Saturn/Chiron havent been too smooth. And of course Pluto in Cap, getting close to my uranus/neptune conjunction as well:)

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    1. Oh and I forgot.. the full moon lunar eclipse att 22Leo was conjunct my MC

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  21. Pluto (in the 12th )making an opposition to my Sun 3years ago.
    It still is in opposition to my Sun and in the 12th house but the beginning of the transit was so violent and.... painful...

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