Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Uranus in the 4th House



Let’s continue the Uranus in the houses series with the next requested placement: Uranus in the 4th House. If Uranus is where things do not happen or unfold conventionally for us, then having a 4th House Uranus means that you have a personal and familial history that has been anything but “normal.” The 4th House shows us where we’ve come from and the ways in which we’ve developed our roots through these past experiences. It also shows the people who have come before us or who share a common clan and the ways in which we share those experiences or are affected by their experiences. Basically, the family tree is the 4th House. But, what happens when Uranus is in the 4th is that this family tree is experienced as strange, foreign, unpredictable, or alienating.

Since Uranus is where we experience a sense of detachment, people with this placement generally feel detached from their families. Of course, this manifests in many different ways. One of them is the person who is actually distanced from their family of birth and has been since the beginning. In other words, someone who has been adopted or who has been put through foster care. The abrupt changes that Uranus brings to its house could mean that, with this placement, you were suddenly separated from your family as a baby or toddler and didn’t see them again until you were an adult. And by this time, you don’t even know who they are. The feeling that the relatives are strangers can operate in this literal definition, making you the classic adopted child.

The unpredictability of Uranus also could have manifested in your life through being a foster child and having this revolving door of families. There was not much attachment formed, at least not for long, because you always knew that your time with them wouldn’t last. It can be quite tough having Uranus in the 4th, even to a degree that rivals Saturn or Pluto occupying your 4th House. The reliable comfort and support that people expect in childhood does not quite happen for the 4th House Uranus child. When you cried out, you didn’t believe that anyone really cared that much. Either that or you suspected that they would leave you, sooner or later. All of Uranus’ changes happening on the home-front never made you feel safe. On some level, you felt abandoned by your family, which is usually rooted in some significant figure in the family abruptly leaving or randomly coming and going. It’s as if you could not rely on them or count on them in the long-term. 

It's no wonder why many Uranus in the 4th House individuals can grow up with a shaky personal foundation that makes them very defensive or guarded. It all stems from this long personal history of an inconsistent or impersonal home environment. And, of course, this can be true even if you weren’t adopted or a foster child. While I don’t think the 4th House is a symbol of either parent (unless the Sun, Moon, or Saturn are here), I do think that it shows the kind of existence that the parent was able to provide their child and family. It’s the home atmosphere and rhythm that your caregivers established. And with Uranus in the 4th House, there was no predictable or stable rhythm. One or both of the parents were responsible for a lot of chaos in the home. Nothing remained in a static state for long. However, this is also the same thing that instilled insecurities within you because you never knew what to expect and when.

Since Uranus goes against established order, the contradiction here is that, as a child, you develop very controlling tendencies in order to compensate for your parents’ lack of consistency or stability. You might have looked around and decided that somebody needed to be the adult in the house. It’s not by being responsible, like it would be with Saturn in the 4th. It’s more so a constant questioning of the rules that were being enforced, even if the rule was to not have very few rules. We are always doing the opposite of what happens in the life area of our Uranus house. So, if your parents were very lenient about something, you could be very strict with yourself about it. Conversely, if they were insisting on a certain rule, you pushed back and wondered why they were doing so.

It's no surprise, then, that you turn out to be the distinctly defiant one in your family unit. Over the years, you have developed a relationship with your family that is contrary and sometimes quite rebellious. Uranus in the 4th House kids can rebel in major or minor ways in the household. But, regardless, you will be living off of your own rhythm. There is this sense that you are different from your parents, who can have values, beliefs, and attributes that are strikingly in contrast to yours. It’s to a point where whenever you introduce your friends or your significant other to your parents and people are like, “Wait? How are you related?” You might look just alike but the similarities end there. The same pattern happens with your siblings, who are more likely to follow in your parents’ footsteps than you are. You might have had a casual respect for them growing up but the relationship was always a bit distant, with one of you seeing the other as an anomaly.

People with a 1st House Uranus feel like they are very different from their families, as well. The difference is that Uranus in the 1st basically feels like different from everyone, family included. For you, it is mostly just your family who you feel somewhat alienated from. There is usually a sense of everyone being one way and you being the other. This does not necessarily mean growing up in a clan of weirdos. That can definitely happen with Uranus in the 4th, making you feel like the seemingly cookie-cutter one. But, your so-called normal quality is what will make you stand out in the family and actually seem crazy in comparison. The Uranus sense of “is everyone sane and I’m crazy or vice versa” manifests very much in terms of the family with Uranus in the 4th. Of course, this can also mean that you are actually the weirdo in the somewhat straitlaced family, known amongst them for your eccentricities or idiosyncrasies. It can also mean being the very reserved one in a family of loudmouths or being the blunt, aggressive one in a very polite, tactful family.

In any case, there is this deep-seated sense of not quite belonging to your family. It is definitely the "black sheep" situation. This is why, even if you’re not adopted, you may be totally convinced that you are. And, again, you probably don’t experience this feeling of difference elsewhere. Out in the world or around other people, you may not feel that odd or that misunderstood. But, the 4th House has a way of kind of haunting us through some ancient memory or bit of nostalgia. Someone only has to say something in a certain way, that reminds you of your mother or your grandfather, and then you’re reminded of how deeply out-of-place you feel. It’s something that’s quite private and secret. Yet, whenever you go home, you are confronted with it and wrestle with it. And this means either whenever you go home to your family or whenever you just go home to yourself; your own apartment or house as an adult. Uranus in the 4th means that you are rooted in these feelings of alienation or detachment.

Again, you and your family are never quite on the same page when it comes to bonding time. You might feel like letting your guard down and letting them get closer. But, you also feel like you’re getting the cold shoulder or that they’re not deeply connecting to you. Yet, whenever they try to make this deep connection to you, you can give them the cold shoulder and keep your distance. 4th House Uranus individuals feel that ongoing frustration over that lack of intimacy in their personal life, since the 4th House is how you live out your personal life. It can always feel as if something is missing, in that sense. However, this could be because you’re comparing your family situation to other people’s. Seeing other people interact with their families can make you wonder why you can’t be like that with your loved ones. I think the key to overcoming this hang-up is just knowing that, for better or for worse, your family situation is unique and cannot be compared to anyone else’s.

This can take on many different forms. It could be the 4th House Uranus person who just has an insanely dysfunctional family that they decide they want nothing to do with them. This happens like an abrupt change, out of nowhere, usually after years of taking their shit and just being totally done with it. At this stage, there is no turning back as you completely overhaul your private life and create a new family. There is also the person with this placement who realizes that, even though there are misunderstandings and it’s not the warmest, fuzziest relationship, there is still a lot of love between them and their family. It just gets expressed in an unusual or unexpected way. You may very rarely hear “I love you” from your sister and then, for your birthday, she throws you the most amazing surprise party. Your dad, who you always thought was unsupportive, could stand in your corner during a terrible time in your life and not leave your side until it gets better.

Uranus in the 4th also could just mean that your family are more like your group of friends than your family. This is why there is not a lot of traditional affection that happens when you all get together because it’s just like hanging out. It’s also why your family may not be like other people’s families. In fact, your parents could be remarkably cool growing up in terms of educating you about sex or giving you your freedom. It is quite typical for those with this placement to grow up in a more progressive or open-minded household, being treated like an equal instead of someone lesser. If you weren’t treated like an equal growing up, though, you can experience some profound anger and frustration about that which leads to an obsession with never being weak again later in life. You need to feel very rooted in that sense of egalitarianism and equality. The best parents for you are ones who don’t treat you like an inferior and give you all the space you need. Many people with this placement are lucky to have parents like that and it forges an amazing bond with them.

At home, there is something about you that changes the temperature when you walk into the room. This can occur with family but it can also occur with the people you live with. You are very comfortable with being a catalyst for change, playing this role to the hilt in your private sphere. When everyone just wants to have a nice, civil family dinner, you bring up politics and insist on talking about it. At the family reunion, you may totally crash the ceremony or be the one in the room throwing all of the shade. Even just in your own home, you have to throw people off-balance. Throughout adulthood, roommates may not be entirely comfortable with you. They don’t exactly know what you’ll do to try and change things. You could do them the favor of doing their dirty dishes, for no reason at all, or you could subtly attempt to control or manipulate their ways. You are often a very relaxed person to live with but you can become erratic when you feel as if things are not entirely under control because, to you, somehow and someway, it has to change, whether that is imposed change or random change. 


Although you’d think Uranus in the 4th would mean pure chaos all of the time in your home life, you can actually shift between insanity and structure. After all, there is a certain regularity to all of our home lives. So, you are either trying to establish regularity in the midst of chaos at home or creating chaos in the midst of regularity. This obviously leads to very strange patterns behind closed doors, like feeling the need to have dinner at 11:30 pm or buying new Tupperware even though you just did that last week. Lots of sudden changes in home décor can occur, as well, to the point where your spouse may become desensitized to it. The 4th House is our safe place and with Uranus here, you just feel more safe when there is a lot of change going on. Those who live with you are just going to have to live with that.

When old friends become like brothers or sisters to us, they enter into our 4th House territory. This is also true of those who we marry. So, whether it’s a surrogate family member or a spouse, in order for them to enter this sacred space of yours, they have to be prepared for anything. You aren’t going to feel comfortable and safe around people who are going to be too judgmental or resistant to the unconventional. In private, you can be downright wacky and it’s not something many people know. Uranus in the 4th House shows that this weirdness is quite a source of vulnerability to you. So, you aren’t very public about it. Therefore, it’s crucial that whoever you deem family gives you the space to be weird and to exist independently. You just need a lot of space, in general, in your personal life and the other person has to know how to handle that.

In your downtime, you love experimenting and tinkering with different ideas. Doing various things around the house like decorating or fixing things or cooking can be an opportunity for that experimentation. It’s what can lead you to actually make your own recipes, which can turn out to be flat-out terrible or downright brilliant. Many crazy mishaps occur in the kitchen for you, from burning the simplest of things to wild accidents with the food or drinks. This all taps into your personal history of being a source of chaos at home. Throughout your childhood and into adulthood, you were quite a little whirlwind in your private sphere. You were rather low-key but still able to cause a commotion, often by being very accident-prone. Always two steps away from the burning the house down, your parents had to keep more of an eye out for you.

But, this just emphasizes the fact that there was always something wild going down in your household. With Uranus in the 4th, you have memories of a strange upbringing. You might have been that kid who told outrageous stories about their family life and nobody believed you or took you seriously because they were just too crazy. But, they were true and it’s a pattern that has manifested into adulthood for you. This also highlights the fact that you just come from unpredictable stock. In terms of your lineage, Uranus in the 4th House people are usually the descendants of a long line of rebels, misfits, geniuses, or free-spirits. And since Uranus is our state of mental freedom, it will be very liberating for you to realize that you’ve simply inherited this independence and oddness. You can retreat into that safe space of yours in a way that makes you feel free because you will realize that you were born into a family (in terms of both your immediate and extended family) that thrives so much on freedom.

Doing genealogy can be very eye-opening, in this sense. Breakthroughs can occur when you realize that your great-grandfather was the town eccentric or that you have a second cousin on your mother’s side who is an intellectually brilliant scientist. Researching your family tree can be wonderful because you realize that the people you thought you were so different from are more like you than you once thought. These ancestors or relatives could also just be your parents. Learning that your mom was actually an outcast in high school or that your dad dabbled in political protesting can help make sense of things for you. It’ll make you see that, with Uranus in the 4th, defying the rules and insisting on change are simply in your blood. Therefore, you can honor these roots and know what to do with them, regularly going into that private place in which you can get on your own progressive, individualistic wavelength.

11 comments:

  1. Thank you v much for this article. Could u please do the 8th house next ^-^ ^-^

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    1. Uranus in 8th house* Sorry forgot to type that out haha

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    2. No problem. Yes, I'll do Uranus in the 8th next. :)

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    3. Thank you. I can't wait to read what you say about Uranus in the 8th. :)

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  2. Moon, Uranus, and Neptune in 4th, I feel like a total recluse and disconnected from everyone in my family, not to mention Cancer Midheaven

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  3. Interesting. I don't have Uranus in the fourth, but I've had progressed Uranus within a few degrees of my progressed IC for a few years now. The year my last living grandfather died it was exact.

    Can you do Uranus in the 5th?

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  4. Spot on! I have bunch of planets in 4th - uranus, neptune (capricorn) saturn , moon (aquarius) so its been hecticever since.

    I guess just because uranus is in capricorn and restrograde it makes me more stable and so, but still uranusgives ots corrections woth chaos and changes. No doubt.

    I do feel different from family memebers. And it is more like gang or something. There is not much affection around.
    And there is always situations around home, living, family and so on... I cant escape it.

    Well what I wanted to say is that it is totally the way you described. You keep impress me how accurate your writing is.

    Keep up a good work!

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  5. As always, a lot of things ring incredibly true. I am wired completely different from the rest of the clan; never doing what's being expected of her, and never apologizing for it. I'm just wired differently from them, in every single way; this doesn't mean we have bad relationship, but it does mean that I've stopped seeking and craving their recognition and approval. They don't get me and they made it very clear from the beginning that there's something different and askew about me - I knew that long before I bothered to find out what that something was, because it was constantly pointed out to me. I ended up creating a lot of my own spaces; it's strange that someone with 6 siblings still felt so alone. Feeling misunderstood, isolated and sometimes actively disliked by the people who are supposed to be the foundation on which you build everything - that stays with you, no matter how much things end up being ok in the end. I take no ones love for granted, and nothing ever lasts.

    On the plus side I am truly capable of considering anyone family; I also have seized the possibility to treat my family like friends. I genuinely enjoy our family hangouts because we have so much fun together - I like my family much more if I focus on my friendships with each and every one of them, rather than prescribe something abstract, automatic and holy to our relationship that I absolutely must honor, just because we happen to share DNA. Being close to my family is a choice I've made - and if it ever came to a point where I had to choose between them and me, I'd choose me every time. A lot of people don't understand this, of course.

    By the way, it just hit me: obviously, this placement must be the reason I think about sharing a living space with a partner, and shudder? Like I'm 26 and I've never done that, and I have an incredibly hard time ever picturing it happen. I have difficulties with sharing my intimate space; I can't imagine living like that, having to compromise with both my practical and emotional needs and feelings. This must also be why I don't believe that I'll have kids - not that I can't or maybe even don't want to (that would be Saturn in my 5th, which I also have), but because I don't think I'll ever be able to create that kind of dependable domesticity that a family needs.. The thought of subjecting myself and all of my chaos on someone so innocent.. I could never do that to a child. And maybe it's just as well.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your story and good idea to treat them as friends rather than family, will keep that in mind.
      I do have a kid, a daughter who's 10 now, split up 8 years ago and she's with me every other week. While she wasn't planned, she's the greatest gift I ever got.
      My childhood was special yet my parent's flaws are my aces. If only normal families would have kids, this planet would be empty by now. Everyone's weird in their own way.
      My kid made her own father's day card this year and it was called Superdad, with my face cut out and glued on Superman's body and cape. Sweet and it means the world (and Krypton) to me.
      Of course having kids is your call (and someone else's probably), all I can say is that she has changed my life for the better.

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  6. I have Uranus in the 3rd but it's very closely conjunct the IC. Most of what I've read here sounds familiar...

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  7. Great article and spot on. My 4th house Uranus is in Scorpio...
    So yeah, that's whats up.
    I really enjoyed how you summed this up; as I'm a free-spirited misfit, lol. But embracing the part of me that loves change and comes from a long line of rebels helps to look at the positive that came from my childhood! Thanks for the reminder...

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