Monday, July 31, 2017

Uranus in the 7th House

There are only three more articles left in my Uranus in the houses series. Looking back, I see that I promised to do Uranus in the 7th House next. But, then, I will be doing Uranus in the 12th and, last but not least, in the 10th House. The 7th House Uranus is an article I’ve actually already written a couple of years ago. However, I like revisiting these articles and possibly touching on a different perspective. The 7th House is one of the most complicated houses in astrology because there is so much psychology to it. It’s how we look for ourselves in other people and how they look for themselves in us and how the two perspectives mix in order to form our relationships. It shows what we want in these close bonds and also what we’re able to give. But, with Uranus in the 7th, there is an indifference to this whole process that can be puzzling to both people involved.

The 7th House is the side of ourselves that we reveal once we let someone into our lives in a more personal, one-on-one manner. But, there’s a depersonalized element to Uranus and that is why this placement is one of the most jarring ones that you can have. True to this planet’s contrary nature, if you have Uranus in your 7th, when people are getting to know you, they can easily feel as if they aren’t getting to know you at all. However, that is the process of getting to know you. People might quickly sense that when they don’t know you that well, they somehow feel like they are closer to you and like you’re more accessible. Yet, the closer they get, the more out-of-reach you can become. This is the reason why your romantic partners or good friends are likely to describe you as rather aloof and distant, maybe even outright icy and cold on a bad day. It’s something that can possibly confuse people who are faced with another side of you. But, little do they know!

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’re a horrible person. It just means that you go about your close relationships in a way that differs from other people. You will want your space and plenty of it. The thought of being involved in a really clingy, needy, smothering relationship is enough to make you freak out. Uranus in the 7th House people might love the idea of such an intensely involved union between them and someone else. In fact, you could find yourself really romanticizing it, when you’re not in the situation. But, when someone does actually get close to you, too much intensity or neediness is going to send you straight in the other direction in the blink of an eye. Whatever is in our 7th House is what we think relationships should be. Therefore, with Uranus in the 7th, you think relationships should be different than the standard stuff that is shoved down our throats about being attached at the hip. 

 The less someone is interested in being too attached, the more you’re going to attach yourself to them. You will do so loosely and coolly. But, in general, a close bond develops when you feel like you have met someone who is a free, independent soul with their own life to live. This is the part that is advertised so much about the 7th House. It’s who we will be attracted to on a long-term basis. In terms of romance, the 5th House is who you hook up or casually date while the 7th House is who you officially commit to. The irony here (and there is always irony when Uranus is involved) is that you will probably end up being very committed to noncommittal types of people. Since your ideal partner is such a free spirit, he or she might be too resistant to the idea of settling down in a relationship, leaving things in a perpetual state of being hot and cold.

So, with this placement, know that it’s natural to feel like the man or woman that you love is driving you insane. This can happen in more than a few ways, from not being able to be pinned down easily to being rebellious, defiant, or contrary just for the sheer sake of it to being so quirky and weird that you can’t really figure them out. This is the house that tells us who we fall for; who ends up being the love(s) of our life. With Uranus in the 7th, the love of your life is, in some way or another, a madman or a madwoman, operating on his or her own eccentric or idiosyncratic level. Their quirks will tickle you on a regular basis and they will also turn a dime and fascinate you with their ability to be so intellectually intriguing and come up with original, fresh, or unique ideas and perspectives. This is ultimately what makes you fall in love with this person: their brilliant, sometimes wacky mind.

At the same time, this is what can end up being frustrating about them. They may find ways to constantly subvert whatever you want or whatever you think, whether that’s through playing Devil’s Advocate or flat-out not giving a fuck about your opinion or approval. As open-minded and inquisitive and tolerant as they are, sometimes, your romantic partner will be just plain impossible. This will be especially true if they feel like you are placing expectations on to them. If this happens, they will feel outraged and start some sort of insurrection against you. So, being in a relationship or a marriage with someone who is essentially uncontrollable and ungovernable is a common pattern with this placement. And since this is the house of close friendships, this is also something that can easily happen with your best friend(s). Whenever you intend to go right, they will insist on going left and get a rather perverse joy out of pushing your buttons.

Uranus’ house placement shows how things cannot be normal or predictable for us. Uranus in the 7th means that your relationships cannot be normal or predictable. However, this is the trick of the 7th House: you’re just as responsible for that. It is all too easy for those with this placement to try and blame the inconsistency, madness, or emotional distance experienced in the relationship on the other person. But, you are just seeing a part of yourself reflected in them. You’re often just as contrary and maddening of a partner to have. Again, you really love your space whenever you’re getting close to someone. So, many of your actions in these relationships are ways to show the other person that you’re still free and that you’re not controlled by them. Feeling like you still have your autonomy and independence is very important to you in these partnerships and you do not take kindly to any unwanted pressures or restrictions being put on you.

Sometimes, though, you may feel distinctly awkward in these relationships, as if everyone else is doing it differently. It can feel as if everyone else falls in love in a way that is foreign to you or that they create these life-long close friendships that you don’t recognize at all. It’s part of the reason why you are easily skittish and uncomfortable when things start getting serious between you and someone else. It’s not necessarily even avoiding the emotions that come with it (although that can be it). It’s just avoiding these expectations that you don’t think you can meet and don’t even want to meet. And this is why you attract equally skittish, standoffish people who don’t exactly know how to please you and aren’t overly interested in doing so. Even though a part of you can feel outraged and demand that they give you your due, another part of you is relieved that someone else speaks your language. All close relationships can have a love-hate quality, often because of the elements of ourselves being reflected back. This is why you love your partner’s weirdness and aloofness just as much as you hate it because it reminds you of this “other half” of yourself.

But, it’s necessary to just go with it. Uranus tells us how we find that mental state of freedom and with this placement, it’s found through partnerships. Attracting someone into your life who is off-kilter and does things their own unique way awakens that off-kilter, original side of yourself. We all learn to love a less acknowledged part of ourselves through our 7th. And Uranus in the 7th means loving that weird inner self and knowing that there is someone out there who will love that self just as much. This can end up taking much of the pressure off of the relationship and letting it unfold accordingly. When you’ve found the right man or woman, as much as he or she will keep you at arm’s length, they will also eventually come around. The more you offer your mate the freedom to do as he or she pleases, the more hooked they will be. So, the less you try to win their heart, the more you will and that works in the same way for you, whether you realize it or not.

A lot of this can have to do with the fact that your significant other usually starts out as a good friend. The lines easily blur between friendship and romance with Uranus in the 7th. This is why many people with this placement can be on either the giving or receiving end of complaints about being treated just like a friend by someone who is obviously romantically attracted to and invested in them. But, in order for the commitment to work, it really does need to start out on a more casual level. Passionate abandon won’t really work, except for if Uranus is in Scorpio and even then, the intensity has to be balanced by friendship. In terms of long-term romance as well as marriage, you really want to end up with someone who is your best friend first and your lover second.

When it comes to your platonic best friend, things can be just as topsy-turvy and unpredictable. But, friendships free of romance and sex are far less confusing for you. The connection in a friendship inherently has way less pressure than a romantic connection. In fact, you might be more committed to your best friend than you are to any love interest, which is why 7th House Uranus people can end up falling in love with their best friend unexpectedly. This is a placement that symbolizes close relationships coming into your life out of nowhere. With your best friend, it will feel like they just randomly showed up one day. And even though a closeness can remain, there is often distance between the two of you. After all, both of you really express your unpredictable qualities through your bond. Yet, no matter how inconsistently you hang out, you will maintain a very one-of-a-kind dynamic that no one else can duplicate or truly understand. This can result in conversations where the two of you are in tears of laughter and no one else knows what’s so funny.

It's true that anyone can have multiple best friends but it is definitely true for Uranus in the 7th. This may be surprising for people because while you may seem more personable, on the surface, there can be a certain “air” to you that makes people think you have high standards in terms of who you get to know. But, the truth is that you’re willing to get close to anyone, as long as they are interesting and decent and give you your freedom. So, you have quite a variety pack of best friends and each relationship is so unique and different from the other. Sometimes, you may isolate your close friends because of this. It’s possible that they’re so different that you would never hang out with them at the same time. But, it’s also likely that they would mesh well because, in the end, they’re all willing to let their freak flags fly, in some sense or another.

You just have to trust that letting your own freak flag fly is what will make people fall for you. Uranus in the 7th House individuals have to know that they are most appealing to others when they are willing to be different. In general, you might be either too intent on getting people’s approval or too aware of what they’re thinking of you. This is why you feel so loved when someone is totally willing to let you be yourself, without any judgment. You can then reciprocate, giving them the same sort of tolerant space in the relationship. Since your unique, unusual side is what attracts love your way, if you have to deal with the public in any sense, you will find that emphasizing your individualistic, one-of-a-kind side will help. 7th House Uranus people gain a lot of public admiration through their originality and not caring what other people think. Whatever “fans” you have will love you because you’re not like anyone else.

Another interesting element of the 7th House is what Dana Gerhardt calls “the marriage myth”. It shows how we learned to view relationships and love because of how we experienced our parents’ relationship and how the story of their union or marriage has influenced us as adults. Uranus in the 7th, then, usually shows someone who is the product of an offbeat marriage. In some way or another, your parents were going against the grain by getting together. They could have faced real disapproval from people in their families or found amazing freedom once they became a couple. There may have also been a distinct casualness that defined their relationship, causing them to act more like friends than romantic partners. Seeing such easy, pressure-free understanding between them implanted the ideal in your mind that you should fall in love with your best friend.

There was also probably a sense that your parents were not like anyone else’s parents and that could have manifested any which way. Maybe they eloped in a really wild way or they just stood out as the coolest, most laidback parents and all your friends wanted to be adopted by them. Also, if Uranus is harshly aspected, their relationship could have just been full-on bizarre, making it hard for you to develop a “normal” concept of what love is. This influence could also mean witnessing a relationship between the parents that was unpredictable in a sometimes upsetting way. But, it could’ve also been harmlessly unpredictable, too. Many people’s parents don’t stay together, of course. So, the marriage myth of the 7th House also play into how the divorce or the split happens between the parents. Uranus is abrupt and its changes happen suddenly. So, Uranus in the 7th can show a marriage between one’s parents that was seemingly fine one day and then, all of a sudden, just ended. And the craziest thing was that both of them acted like it was no big deal.

It’s this experience that instills the notion in the 7th House Uranus person’s mind that marriage is no big deal and not a priority. Actually, this is something that many 7th House people spout off, often because those with planets in the 7th are so profoundly affected if and when their parents split that many of them distance themselves from the idea of marriage altogether. The reasons why can be indicated by the planet in the house (like Sun in the 7th will feel like they want their own identity outside of marriage and Pluto in the 7th will want to remain unmarried to stay in control). For Uranus in the 7th, it can simply be because they don’t care; because they are the child of a divorce in which two people didn’t care or try (whether that’s really true or not). It can also be because they are, again, just too independent or just too detached from conventional expectations. Just being with someone for several years, without the formal marriage, can make more sense to them.

However, the 7th House shows just how psychological it is in its manifestation when we end up repeating the patterns that our parents acted out through their relationship (and then horrified or shocked to realize what we’re doing). Therefore, Uranus in the 7th House people can also get married and divorced haphazardly, with it ending as quickly as it began. Still, they’re excellent at remaining friends with their former spouses and partners. Uranus’ house placement has an easy come and easy go effect in our lives. So, having this Uranus means that you understand that relationships are always in a state of change and that there doesn’t have to be any hard feelings.

Reader Questions for August

It’s that time of the month again! It’s time for you to submit your questions for the next Q & A, which will take place in the next few days. Since my birthday is on the 8th of August, I thought I would do something a bit different for this Q & A. So, this month, I’ll be choosing and answering six people’s questions instead of five and, of course, answering them in a posted video.

Leave your question in the comment section below. And as I always say, please keep it simple and focused on just one placement/aspect in your chart, if you are asking about your chart. But, you can also feel free to ask me something about my chart or about astrology, in general. Whatever you want to know! (The comment section is now closed for questions.)

Thanks and I’ll be talking to you again soon!


Sunday, July 23, 2017

Mars in Leo Transit: Let Your Light Shine

Mars entered the sign of Leo on July 20 and will be there until September 5. Mars is quite comfortable in the fiery sign of Leo, meaning that passions are going to be high and that there is going to be an increased feeling of determination and self-motivation in the air. So, what does this transit have in store for you? I’ll tell you all about it in the video below.